Tag Archives: marijuana

1098. Neighbourhood watch

My neighbour works as a prostitute. Well, that’s a bit harsh; she’s a “call girl”. She must be all of thirty if you want to know, and she drives quite an expensive motor vehicle. So she must be doing quite well.

In between times, and goodness knows she seems to sleep in quite late, she sells marijuana to all the people who constantly visit. I can see them out my window. They’re all eager for the weed. They knock on her door with four taps, with a brief pause after the third. From my window I see things handed over, and then they’re back in their cars and off like a shot.

I know it is marijuana because she grows it just over the fence on her property at the bottom of the garden. I see it when I mow my lawn. I have no idea where she dries the stuff. Maybe in her garage or in her roof somewhere.

So both these activities keep her pretty busy, and no doubt rich: entertaining guests and selling dope. I know it keeps her busy because every time I’ve knocked four taps on her door she’s been too busy to see me.

407. Barry was a bit of a bastard

407barry

There’s no doubt that Barry could be a bit of a bastard at times.

He was a teacher, and sometimes he was real hard on the kids.

Barry got the sack. The school principal was a prick, but that still didn’t mean that Barry shouldn’t have got the sack. He was mean. He was devious. He was two-timing. He was a bully.

The principal was very proud of his school. Especially the look of it. The grounds. The gardens. The state of the buildings. He loved to show visitors around.

Why! Here comes the headmaster now, with a little group of prospective parents!

“What’s that growing beneath your office window?” asked a visitor.

“Flowers, beautiful flowers!” beamed the principal. “We take great pride in caring for the school.”

“It’s marijuana,” said the visitor.

As was said, there’s no doubt that Barry could be a bit of a bastard.

246. House in the woods

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Occasionally Howard and Kent could be seen outside their house in the woods, but they were rarely home. They were always out. Even at nights they were seldom home. What busy social lives they must lead!

They rented their house from an old lady down the road. She was the perfect landlady, claimed Kent when he had an uncharacteristic conversation with a neighbour. She never calls in to inspect. As long as we pay the rent, she’s happy. And it’s just as well, added Howard, because we don’t keep a very tidy house.

In fact, the house must’ve been very untidy, for they never opened a single curtain. Everything was always closed.

On one occasion when Howard and Kent were home, neighbours Lynn and Gary decided to pay them a social call. It was the friendly thing to do. Instantly, Howard and Kent rushed out of the house and greeted them at the gate. Lynn and Gary never made it inside the home.

One day, the police arrived and raided the house. The entire place had been gutted and lined with silver foil. There was heating and artificial lighting. No one lived there at all. An old lady’s house was the perfect space to grow marijuana.