Tag Archives: magazine

1217. About my photo

Hi! Look, I’m just back from the dentist and while I was waiting I was reading your magazine and an article about sexy lifesavers. And there slap bang in the middle of the article was a picture of me. I was taken aback.

I wish to complain. First of all I’m not even a surfer although I might look like one, so I have no idea how that picture of me got into the article. Nor had I given my permission to have my photo plastered all over an article about sexy lifesavers. It seems to be typical these days with selfies and stuff that people think they can do what they like. That photo was taken for my ex-girlfriend when I was at the beach so she could drool over me when I’m not about.

So I would like an apology in the next edition, and this time I’d like my picture to have my phone number. Ok?

1154. So closed-minded

Regina was the new editor of a prestigious magazine. It was a monthly publication that shared ideas and articles about flower arranging. It was extremely popular. It was possible to follow the flower arrangements without having to possess expensive vases. In fact, some of the best flower arrangements were made in old jam jars with things that most people could find in their gardens. Even weeds!

When Regina landed the editorial job she announced a few changes; in fact, more than a few! The whole format was overhauled, and the online format was made to accommodate various social media appliances. Only the rich could afford the flowers and vases used.

Regina’s opening editorial began:

Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Our design staff has been busy improving the appearance and content of our magazine. We’d love to hear your response to these wonderful improvements!

Four hundred and twenty-nine readers responded. Fourteen loved the new look; the rest hated it. People are so closed-minded, aren’t they? They can’t cope with change. They’re stuck in the Middle Ages, these people; thick-skinned dinosaurs who refused to adapt to the changing world. “It hasn’t taken long for the whingers and moaners of this world to crawl out of the woodwork,” declared Regina.

Subscriptions plummeted. The board gave Regina a substantial pay rise to celebrate her wonderful, wonderful, wonderful innovations.