Tag Archives: Lucy Locket

1997. Hickory dickory dock

Little Jack Horner
Sat in the corner,
Eating a Christmas pie;
He put in his thumb and pulled out four and twenty blackbirds. He said to the Grand Old Duke of York, “What the hell are all these blackbirds doing in my Christmas pie?”

And the Grand Old Duke of York said “I dunno. Ask Little Miss Muffet.” So he did that, and she said, “If he’d been sitting on a tuffet and not in a corner and been eating curds and whey and not gutsing out on Christmas pie none of this would have happened. So there.”

Miss Muffet has always been a little so-and-so. When Humpty-Dumpty fell off his wall and Jack broke his crown, she laughed. Laughed! Like the whole thing was a joke. Same for when Whatya-ma-call-it lost her sheep. And she thought Little Boy Blue blowing his horn was an absolute scream.

After that, I’m not surprised that Lucy Locket lost her pocket, are you? The next thing we’ll hear is that Jack jumped over a candle stick.

What is needed is an old woman who lives in a shoe whipping everyone soundly and sending them to bed without bread. Let them eat broth.

This just goes to prove that blind mouses running up and down houses of government are a bit short of a few hickory dickory docks.