Tag Archives: lawn mower

1883. Garden tools

Let’s face it: Stella wasn’t a greedy person. She was a spinster, lived alone, and was retired. She had worked as a nurse all her life. She had looked forward to her retirement. “At last! After all these years I shall be able to potter all day in the garden!”

She owned her own home, and it had a fairly extensive garden. It was one of those gardens that looked bigger than it was. One could get lost in it. Go through a gap in the shrubbery and a new vista, a new “room”, was revealed. Stella had a “theme” for each area; vegetables, flowers for cut flowers, herbs, and so on. The problem was that Stella could live satisfactorily in retirement but there wasn’t much left over for much else. That was when her lawn mower broke down, her garden rake disintegrated, her hedge clippers fell apart. It seemed that at least half the garden tools had gone on strike.

It would be simple enough to replace a garden trowel or something, but to replace half the tools at once was a burdensome impossibility. Stella conceived a plan! She advertised through the local Garden Society that the following weekend she would have an “Open Garden”. It’s true! Stella’s garden was a picture. At her gate she would have a sign and an honesty tin with a slot cut in the lid: GARDEN SHOW: ENTRY BY GOLD COIN.

When it came to gardening Stella wasn’t simply a weed-puller; she was an artist. She arranged the watering can, and the wheel barrow, and the spade, and all the garden tools (even the broken ones), in a nonchalant way around the garden, as if to say the gardener was busy but had just taken a break for a cup of tea. It was artistic; it was… well… very Stella. The arrangement in the delphinium bed was perfect: all that the placing of the watering can and spade needed was a robin to perch on the spade handle to create a postcard scene!

The Saturday was sunny. Quite a crowd came on this first day. Stella didn’t want to appear to be nosy, but at the start she could hear the gold coins go clang as they were put in the tin at the gate. She knew the tin was collecting even more coins when it ceased to clang as if it was empty. What a successful day!

When she went to collect the honesty tin in the late afternoon it had been stolen. As had all her garden tools. Even her spade that awaited the perching robin had disappeared.

1313. Unlucky 13

The Number 13 is supposed to be unlucky, so I presume this being Story Number 1313 something doubly unlucky should happen. And indeed it might!

Young James at High School had joined the Give-a-Hand Club. His parents, who didn’t have much money, had told him always to be generous. Being generous won’t kill you. When you’ve next-to-nothing doesn’t mean you can’t share the next-to-nothing you have, they said. That’s why Young James had joined the Give-a-Hand Club.

The first thing he did was to ask old Mrs Osborne if she needed a hand mowing her large lawn. It’s free, said Young James.

The mower is in the shed, said Mrs Osborne.

While he was mowing the lawn a wheel fell off the lawn mower. James tried to fix it but the axle had worn through.

“You’ll have to pay for it,” said Mrs Osborne. “I’m not having vandals come in to wreak havoc with my tools and equipment. I don’t know how you’re going to finish mowing my lawn but I want it done today.”

Poor James didn’t have the wherewithal to get the lawn mower fixed. Nor did he know where to find another lawn mower to finish the job. He went to the local Fixx-a-Lawnmower place along the road. Young James told them his story and asked how much it would cost to get the lawn mower’s wheel put back on.

“Nothing for you, son,” said the nice man. “That lawn mower is a piece of junk. I’ll put the wheel back and you can leave it in her shed. When that’s done we’ll take a ride and I’ll show you how to use this ride-on monster.”

Every Saturday after that Young James mowed lawns with the ride-on monster. He always, kindly, mowed Mrs Osborne’s lawn first; everyone else paid. Which just goes to show that a double 13 in Story Number 1313 is not doubly unlucky after all.

787. Tigers for punishment

787tigers

It was a fairly sunny day. Bruce, retiree, thought he’d sit on his veranda and have lunch. No one had phoned. No visitors had called in. He was on his own, so why not make lunch special and sit on the veranda and enjoy the sunshine?

But who is this coming through the gate? Three young guys, gangly teenagers, probably from the local high school. But they weren’t dressed for school; they were wearing work clothes.

“Good afternoon, sir,” they said.

“Goodness! Is it afternoon already?” How Bruce hated being called Sir. It made him feel old. It made him feel overbearingly authoritative.

“We’ve been bad boys at school,” said one of the lads. “The principal’s sent us out to do an hour of community work. Have you got any jobs?”

“You can mow my lawns,” said Bruce. Their faces dropped. “Don’t worry. It’s a ride on.”

The three young guys had the time of their lives; out of the classroom, working in the sun, driving the lawn mower, wielding the weed-eater, rotary-hoeing the garden, water-blasting the mossy paths… They were there for three hours. They loved it.

“You’ve made our day, sir,” they said. “It’s better than school. Can we come back?”

Bruce had supplied them with cold drinks throughout the afternoon.

(And I might add, they ate all of my birthday cake too. Finished it off in no time.)

299. Christina buys a lawnmower

299lawnmower

Christina was all of thirty-two and a spinster. She didn’t like to refer to herself as a spinster; that implied she was over the hill already, and way beyond marriageable age. She was still looking for “the right man”.

That is beside the point. She needed to buy a new lawnmower. Her old one had been inherited from her grandfather. Like him, the lawnmower was loud, messy, heavy, and now dead. She knew nothing about lawnmowers.

First she went to Mow It Ltd. They seemed to have lots of lawnmowers for sale, and in all colours. The man was quite helpful. He explained everything about them, half of which she didn’t understand. She thanked him and went to look at another mower shop. It doesn’t hurt to compare prices.

The woman selling the mowers at Tidy Lawns Ltd was quite helpful. She knew what was required. She explained things in simple “layman’s terms”. Christina thanked her and moved on to another lawnmower shop: Grass and Wood Ltd.

The salesman was very helpful. He simply said, “This is exactly what’s needed.”

Grass and Wood Ltd knew what they were doing when they employed that salesperson. He’d won the title last summer as The Sexiest Bachelor in Town. Indeed he is, thought Christina, as she paid for the very lawnmower she didn’t want.