Tag Archives: laughter

1737. A funny story

There’s no doubt that Ross knew how to tell a good joke. Some people can’t tell jokes; they mess up the punchline and things are never very funny. But Ross, goodness me! He could make people fall off their chairs with mirth.

The only trouble was that Ross would often laugh uproariously at his own joke and sometimes would start his uncontrollable laughter even before the joke was finished. When the joke was over, everyone could see why he was laughing. It was always immensely funny.

I’ll give an example:

Once there was this fellow called Fred. He was a farmer and he had three sheep. The first sheep was black, the second sheep was white, and the third sheep was white with a black face. When Farmer Fred took his sheep to the market the stall-seller of home-grown organic cabbages asked: “How much are you asking for the sheep?”

And Fred said… ha ha ha ha ha ha ha… And Fred said… ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haw haw hee hee hee hee hee… ha ha ha ha ha ha haw haw hee hee hee hee.. And Fred said…

Ross was laughing so hard that he almost wet himself. He almost died laughing. And that was when he had a brain haemorrhage.

1572. Zach and the mean stork

(The closing sentence for this story was suggested by Chelsea’s son (one of them). Chelsea’s blog is here. Note: I’m not sure in which countries “Ball” rhymes with “Mall” but it does in mine! Hence this story!)

It all started when Cinderella’s two ugly sisters we invited to the mall by the local handsome prince, Zach. Cinderella wanted to go to the mall too but had nothing sloppy enough to wear.

“Oh how I wish I could go to the mall with my two ugly sisters,” sighed Cinderella. “That way I might meet Prince Zach and we’d get married.”

The next thing, Cinderella’s Hairy Godmother appeared from nowhere. She had a magic wand.

“Come with me, Cindy,” said the Hairy Godmother. Together they went to the mall. Cinderella’s two ugly sisters were there messing around with Prince Zach. The Hairy Godmother waved her magic wand and EUREKA! the two ugly sisters were turned into birds. One was turned into a stork and the other into a hyena. (A hyena is not a bird but the Hairy Godmother had brought only her second-best wand).

The stork started to peck poor Cinderella. Peck! Peck! Peck! What a Neanderthal!

“Help! Help!” cried Cinderella. “I’m getting pecked to bits!”

Prince Zach came to Cinderella’s rescue.

“Don’t be such a mean stork,” said Prince Zach.

So that is the story of Zach and the Mean Stork. Well, it’s not quite the full story. Prince Zach and Cinderella fell in love and… I’m not telling what happened next because I don’t want to spill the beans (or even to throw them out the window) but there was a wedding…

And they all lived happily ever laughter.

1393. Nothing to get

A group of friends were having a few drinks. There’s nothing like a few drinks to invigorate a conversation. They got to telling jokes.

Benjamin told a joke.

“There were three bears: Father Bear, Mother Bear, and Baby Bear. They went on a skiing trip. Father Bear came down the hill on skis shouting WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Mother Bear came down the hill on skis shouting WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Baby Bear came down the hill on skis shouting RADIATOR!”

The joke was completely unfunny. In fact, the joke was so unfunny that Bernice became convulsive. She asphyxiated on the joke. She was on the floor laughing so hard that she choked. She had a fit and almost had to be taken to hospital. Harriet didn’t think the joke was funny at all. She just didn’t get that there was nothing to get.

1293. Mimi the mimic

Mimi was a wonderful mimic. She’d have the person’s voice, their laughter, their movement, off to a tee within minutes. She was the life of any gathering. People were in fits. They were in hysterics. And of course to make matters even funnier, Mimi would imitate the people as they laughed. It was a vicious circle. She had a knack of making people helpless; they would literally roll on the floor.

When she died fairly suddenly, no one had much to say at her funeral because they didn’t really know who she was.

1202. Love at first sight

It’s love at first sight. In fact, I hope we find enough money to afford to get married one day. She lights up my life. I think about her all the time. I’ve most definitely got to buy that engagement ring.

Everything about her is stunning! Her looks! Her personality! Even her taste in clothes. She’s almost a fashion icon. Her laughter is like the sound of gentle bells wafting from a beautiful spire down the valley of life. Her eyes, I swear, are diamonds.

Now, I’ve just got to get her to notice me.