Micky was an expert at growing dahlias. In fact he had two special varieties of dahlia that had been catalogued and “copyrighted” and were on the online dahlia market. There was a variety called “Peaches and Powder Milk” and another one called “Water Reflections”. To be honest they hadn’t sold particularly well, but in no way did that curb Micky’s enthusiasm for dahlia growing.
In the same area as Micky lived Kurt. He too was an enthusiastic dahlia grower. Unfortunately, despite numerous attempts, he had never developed a new variety of dahlia that was accepted by the International Royal Dahlia Society. Kurt was as jealous as can be of Micky.
When Micky had to move from the area (it was something to do with his wife needing to be closer to medical specialists) he dug up all his dahlia tuberous roots, labelled them carefully, and put them in boxes at his front gate. The sign said: HELP YOURSELVES! SHARE AND SHARE ALIKE! FREE TO A GOOD HOME!
When no one was watching, Kurt backed his pickup to Micky’s gate, loaded the lot, and took them to the dump.
There’s no doubt that June was what her friend Jewel called a “floozy”.
“It’s better than being a frump, like you,” said June to Jewel.
June and Jewel had been friends since high school. They were both attracted to the same boys. June seemed to win all the time, which is why Jewel called her a floozy. Jewel seems to lose all the time, which is why June called her a frump. It was all in good fun.
It just so happened that the frump got married first.
The floozy hasn’t spoken to the frump for twenty-three years.
Diana won first place at the local agricultural show for her pansies in a pot. The citation citated: First place goes to Diana for her pansies in a pot in the Pansies in a Pot section of the Potted Plants Section of the Flower Section of the Gardening Section of the Agricultural Show.
Diana was enormously proud of her achievement. “It’s not everyone,” said Diana, “who is awarded first place for her pansies in a pot in the Pansies in a Pot section of the Potted Plants Section of the Flower Section of the Gardening Section of the Agricultural Show.”
When she walked along the street Diana knew that people were looking at her. Jealousy is an insidious thing. She could feel their spite as they stared. They were talking about her behind her back in a disparaging and offensive manner.
“Not everyone,” said Diana, “can be a winner.”
“When she went into a plant shop she always asked if they had any pansies in a pot. She didn’t want to buy any, of course. She was simply using it as an opener to tell the shop keeper of her stunning triumph.
The shop keepers declared each time that they had never even heard of such an award – let alone the winner.
Jealousy is an insidious thing, oh yes, is it not? said Diana.
Zoe was the jealous sort, as it turned out. She fell in love with Jasper. He was all of nineteen and drove a bulldozer. Drove a bulldozer! Imagine that!
They decided to start living together. Zoe worked part-time for the city council, filing things. Filing all sorts of things, none of which she understood. Then she would come home and surf the net. She was on all the social networks, and she got all her recipes online.
Jasper would work long hours. Driving a bulldozer! He left early in the morning. And then when he came home and showered, they would have dinner. Then Jasper would spend an hour or so playing games on the computer and Zoe would watch a bit of television.
I wonder, thought Zoe one day, when Jasper was at work (driving a bulldozer!), I wonder if he looks at stuff when he’s on the computer? Porn and stuff? I wonder if he chats to other women online and all that.
She began to go through the computer’s history. She began to look at the deleted files. She found nothing.
Day after day she checked when she came home from the city council office, and she never found anything. It began to consume her. Was he faithful? Was he covering his tracks? He seemed to be pretty absorbed in the evenings when he was online.
She got into an argument with him. He said he wasn’t doing nothing but look at machine parts when he wasn’t playing games. He was looking at parts for the bulldozer.
Zoe didn’t believe him.
Anyway, it was a good learning experience. They survived together for seven months.