Tag Archives: jack

1572. Zach and the mean stork

(The closing sentence for this story was suggested by Chelsea’s son (one of them). Chelsea’s blog is here. Note: I’m not sure in which countries “Ball” rhymes with “Mall” but it does in mine! Hence this story!)

It all started when Cinderella’s two ugly sisters we invited to the mall by the local handsome prince, Zach. Cinderella wanted to go to the mall too but had nothing sloppy enough to wear.

“Oh how I wish I could go to the mall with my two ugly sisters,” sighed Cinderella. “That way I might meet Prince Zach and we’d get married.”

The next thing, Cinderella’s Hairy Godmother appeared from nowhere. She had a magic wand.

“Come with me, Cindy,” said the Hairy Godmother. Together they went to the mall. Cinderella’s two ugly sisters were there messing around with Prince Zach. The Hairy Godmother waved her magic wand and EUREKA! the two ugly sisters were turned into birds. One was turned into a stork and the other into a hyena. (A hyena is not a bird but the Hairy Godmother had brought only her second-best wand).

The stork started to peck poor Cinderella. Peck! Peck! Peck! What a Neanderthal!

“Help! Help!” cried Cinderella. “I’m getting pecked to bits!”

Prince Zach came to Cinderella’s rescue.

“Don’t be such a mean stork,” said Prince Zach.

So that is the story of Zach and the Mean Stork. Well, it’s not quite the full story. Prince Zach and Cinderella fell in love and… I’m not telling what happened next because I don’t want to spill the beans (or even to throw them out the window) but there was a wedding…

And they all lived happily ever laughter.

1251. Jack and the beanstalk

(Today’s story is to celebrate what is apparently “National Tell a Fairy Tale Day” in the United States!)

Jack’s mother was absolutely skint, except for the cow of course which was dry and she didn’t have a freezer back in those days to freeze the meat.

“Jack,” she said, “Take the cow to the market and sell it so we can buy enough food to last us a few days. After that I don’t have a clue what we’re going to do.”

Jack took the cow – it was brown and white – and headed for the market. On the way he met an old man who offered him a handful of beans in exchange for the cow. Jack took them, grateful that he didn’t have to walk all the way to market.

When he got home, deep down his mother was really annoyed, but she patiently said, “That’s lovely, Jack. We shall make some bean soup with them.”

And she did that. It lasted for only one meal.

Oh! If only she had angrily tossed the beans out the window! What a difference it would have made to their lives!