Tag Archives: hula

2188. Talula Does the Hula

It was preposterous, said the judge. The poor little girl’s parents had named her Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii. The parents must have been drunk when they settled on a name. The little girl had told everyone that her name was Kay. Few knew that her registered name was Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii.

Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii was currently the victim of a custody battle, which is why she came to court and her name came to light.

The mother explained that Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii was conceived in Honolulu while they were on vacation. It was normal in her culture to name a child after something significant that occurred from conception until birth. Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii seemed reasonable at the time.

The father during the custody battle was nowhere to be seen. Your explanation seems reasonable, said the judge. I hereby award Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii to the custody of her mother, Hole In The Condom.

581. Beverley does the hula

© Bruce Goodman 14 May 2015


Beverley had a major role in the local repertory society’s annual comedy production. She was to be the head Amazon; a warrior princess. She was to wear a grass skirt and do the hula. Beverley practised wiggling her hips like they do in Hawai’i. She found it difficult.

There was no other solution. She looked in the phone book and not a single hula dance teacher was in sight. Taking the plunge she dialled a number next to the name of Aloha Ekewaka. It looked Hawai’ian enough. And Beverley was bang on! It was Hawai’ian! And yes! She would teach Beverley the hula.

What progress was made! And what a hit in the production Beverley was. Drums banging. Grass skirts swishing. Hips moving. Beverley the Amazon pulsating, calling effervescent-whoops back and forth and in and out again. She got a standing ovation!

Two weeks late Beverley eloped with Aloha Ekewaka’s husband.