Tag Archives: grumpy

2284. Grumpy Crotch

The doorman’s real name was Paddy, but everyone knew him as Grumpy Crotch; Grumpy because he was grumpy and Crotch because he walked as if he had sand in his pants. Somehow the nickname made sense. His job was to welcome tourists to the town’s popular aquarium.

There was never a “Welcome” from his lips. Instead it would be a gruff “Don’t tap on the glass” or “Don’t throw food to the alligators”. One day he caught some kids tapping on the glass of an aquarium to try to get the plecostomus to move. He told them off in no uncertain terms so they pushed him over the railing into the alligator enclosure.  This was despite his warning not to throw food to the alligators.

Some people just don’t listen.

1428. Grumpy Earl

When Earl went out to his shed to get his set of screwdrivers to do a job there was a screwdriver missing. That put him in a grumpy mood.

“Where did you put my screwdriver?” he asked his wife.

“I didn’t touch them,” she said.

That was typical. She always claimed she never touched his stuff and she always had. She never returned things back to their right place.

“I’m off to the pub for a while,” he grumbled.

As he got in his car he sat on the missing screw driver. Then he remembered.

It put him in a worse mood than before.