Tag Archives: graze

1473. Fat Ferdinand’s fate

Ferdinand was the most selfish cattle beast in the herd. For example, when the cattle were all driven through a gate into a fresh pasture, every animal would begin to eat the grass just inside the gate. Not so, Ferdinand.

Ferdinand would stroll to the far end of the field away from all the other beasts. That way he wouldn’t have to share. He had all the fresh grass in the world. Several days later, by the time the herd reached the far end of the field they would say to one another, “Where has our grass gone? How come there is no long grass here in the field? Someone selfish must have been eating it.”

That is why Ferdinand was the fattest bull in the herd (and therefore the first to go to the slaughter house).

1423. A mark on the chest

When Zane awoke he noticed what looked like a graze or a cut on his chest. He didn’t know what it was, but it hurt quite a bit, especially if he touched it. Throughout the day he kept having a peek at it to see if it was getting better or worse. It was getting quite blistery. Then he wondered if it wasn’t some sort of bed sore. He made an appointment to see a doctor.

“No,” said the doctor, “it’s not a bed sore but I don’t have a clue what it could be. It could be a spider bite. It looks a little like a burn mark or if some sort of chemical has been spilt. You don’t recall anything like that?”

The doctor prescribed an ointment and said if it gets worse then come back. “Anyway,” asked the doctor, “how’s the rest of your health been?”

Zane had a fairly serious heart condition.

“Actually,” said Zane, “I feel better than I have in years.”

Silly man! He had no idea that aliens had visited him while he slept and fixed up his heart.