Tag Archives: giraffe

1807. A long tall yarn

George and Christopher were best friends. They both had unusual pets. The exciting news was that both pets were about to have babies!

The two had a bet as to which would give birth first. For a while they were neck and neck, but in the end George’s anteater beat Christopher’s giraffe by a nose.

Poem 40: Dare I compare you to a hippopotamus?

(The poetic form selected for this month is the English or Shakespearean Sonnet).

Dare I compare you to a hippopotamus?
You know you’re overweight and find it difficult
To wear nice clothes that fit and aren’t preposterous.
It’s really not your fault; it’s how you’re built.

You call me your giraffe because I’m thin.
I try to eat a lot but nothing works.
I walk on legs that look like skinny pins.
You laugh at me, and yes! your laughter irks.

But what a pair we are! The butt of jokes!
The fatty and the skinny grocery shopping!
One short, one tall, a pair, a gal and bloke,
The hippo and giraffe, one lean, one whopping.

And yet you are my love, my day, my night,
My sun, my moon, my stars, my world, my light.

1015. Pardon

1pardon

Once there was a majestic Lion who had been the king of the jungle for quite a few years. But enough is enough. “I’ve done my bit,” he said. “It’s time for someone else to take the reins.”

But who?

Lady Giraffe dared suggest that a female should be in charge. “We’ve always had males,” she said. “It’s time for a woman, and why not me? I’m very capable, and what is more, unlike all these boys of the jungle, I’m squeaky clean.”

“You’re what?” exclaimed a Bunch of Bush Rats. “You’re corrupt to the core!”

“Easily solved,” said King Lion. “I shall give a Royal Pardon, and then everything will be alright!”

And he did! He royally pardoned Mrs Giraffe there and then.

“I accept!” said Mrs Giraffe graciously. “I’m innocent at last! Innocent at last! Thank God Almighty I’m innocent at last.”

“Aha!” exclaimed the Bunch of Bush Rats, “an acceptance of pardon is an admission of culpability.”

641. Love affair

© Bruce Goodman 13 July 2015

641love

Hilda the hippopotamus fell in love with Geronimo. But there was a problem: Geronimo was a giraffe.

What’s wrong with that? you might well ask. The difficulty was that they were into their third date and busy necking in the back seat of their Volkswagen, and there simply wasn’t enough room.

“There’s only one thing for it,” said Geronimo. “We need a sports car with a roll-back hood thingy.”

So that’s what they got and it solved lots of problems. Pretty soon, Hilda and Geronimo were married. They had six kids, three hipporaffes and three gipotamuses. They lived happily ever after, and actually, if you must know, some of their kids became quite famous.