Tag Archives: genie

2168. Genies in bottles

I have no doubt that you have heard of genies in bottles. Genies pop out of uncorked bottles to grant the cork-poppers three wishes. Of course it is just a silly fairy story, it certainly is, but the basis of the myth is firmly grounded in a reality. Unfortunately at the present time I am not in a position to disclose my sources, but they are true and reliable.

About a thousand or so years ago one of the more advanced civilizations in our galaxy happened to come across Planet Earth. Tourists from the alien planet began to flock. The aliens were enamoured by the simplicity and backwardness of the Earthlings. The aliens played all sorts of tricks because they loved to see the surprise on an Earthling’s face. The aliens would indeed grant wishes.

This activity didn’t last for long. The Head Gazompher of the alien planet made a decree: all recognizable dealing with Earthlings had to cease. We must not interfere with the evolutionary process of creatures within the Cosmos. By all means watch them in an invisible way, but do not meddle in their affairs.

To cover their footprints, so to speak, the aliens concocted myths about genies granting wishes. Genies popping out of bottles became rooted in Earthling mythology. The Head Gazompher (I’m still alive) is well pleased.

563. Wonder of wonders

562genie

Wonder of wonders! William was cleaning out the attic when he found an old genie lamp. William rubbed it and out steamed a genie via the spout. William couldn’t believe his luck. To begin with, he’d always thought the story of the genie granting three wishes was a load of bunkum.

“Not so!” said the genie. “But unfortunately, two of the wishes have already been used.”

“First there was Paula. She wanted to visit the Late Cretaceous Period and pick up a Futalongkosaurus’s egg for her eleven year-old dinosaur-loving son. Unfortunately, when she set out, she forgot to take the lamp with her and couldn’t return.”

“Then there was Mervyn. Mervyn wanted to experience a hot and steamy threesome. He died of a massive coronary a few minutes into the action.”

“And now there’s you!” said the genie. “What is your wish?”

“I wish,” said William, “to see the world as it will be in five hundred years.”

“Very well,” said the genie. “Good choice.”

William looked. The future was black and empty. There was nothing there. Not even a desolate landscape.