2264. Passionfruit

You see that tall wire-netting fence at the front of that house just across the road? It would be absolutely perfect for growing passionfruit. I don’t know why they haven’t planted passionfruit there. What is more, it would give the front lawn of their house some privacy.

Not only can I see the fence from my window, but I have to walk passed it every day on the way to work. Every time I pass I think why hasn’t anyone planted passionfruit to grow up it? I work at a supermarket, and you know the price of passionfruit these days? If they planted passionfruit to grow up their fence it would save a lot of money.

Some people have no imagination. To think of all the starving people in the world. Who wouldn’t like a passionfruit as a treat occasionally? The owners of this netting fence are so blind. They only think of themselves.

I’ve just had this thought. I KNOW WHY THEY HAVEN’T PLANTED PASSIONFRUIT. BECAUSE PEOPLE PASSING BY WOULD STEAL IT. THE MORALS OF THE MODERN WORLD ARE INEXCUSABLE. Boys on their bicycles would ride passed and pinch a passionfruit. It’s disgusting. No wonder there are so many people starving in the world today. It would simply be a temptation and opportunity for thieves.

I’ve a good mind to pull their fence down before they do something silly with it.

904. Farmer Jack

Jack was a practical man. Being a practical man meant that his dear wife was forever asking him to do things: mend the gate, dig a new garden, pave a path, put in a fish pond… Anyway, they needed a new fence because the cow had got through the rickety old fence and eaten Mrs Jack’s roses.

“We need a new fence,” said Mrs Jack. Jack thought about it and decided that the new fence would need six posts, so he needed six postholes. He hitched the trailer up to the back of his tractor and headed for town.

He went to the wholesalers and asked for six postholes.

“Sure,” they said. “What size?”

“Big ones,” said Jack.

Six big postholes were loaded onto the back of Jack’s trailer and off he set for home. The road was bumpy and half way home Jack looked and noticed that a couple of post holes had fallen off the back of the trailer.

Jack back-backed to try and find them. He backed into one of the holes, and has never been seen since.

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