Tag Archives: factory

1756. Maureen’s birthday celebration

Hello everyone. I’ve called this little gathering for drinks and nibbles of all the workers here at the factory as a way of thanking you all for your sterling work. It’s been a pleasure and an honour co-operating with you over the years. So many of you have gone over and above the call of duty.

Just one little announcement! Today is Maureen’s birthday! So happy birthday, Maureen! You get younger by the year! I might add that Maureen next April will have been with the company for thirty years. Thirty years! Unfortunately we won’t be able to celebrate that together as the factory is closing down. From tomorrow we will no longer be in production and your services will no longer be required.

So enjoy your drinks and nibbles because it’s all you’re going to get.

1071. An important meeting

Malcolm was very capable but must have been the most tedious bore in the factory. He was in charge of the knitting and weaving. If you asked Malcolm a question he would drone on and on. And on.

Claus, the boss, asked Emile if he would discuss with Malcolm the timing of some knitting procedure.

“And get a three hour lecture on how to make a clock?” said Emile.

“I’ll tell you what,” said Claus, “we’ll both go together and tell him we have an important meeting to attend in quarter of an hour.”

So they did that, and they were only one hour twenty minutes late for their fictional meeting. However, they both now know how to make a clock.

764. Child labour

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(Photo by Lewis Hine)

It was the year 1771. A motley crew of peasants had assembled outside the front door of the cotton mill. They were protesting over the owner’s treatment of children.

Children as young as six were being made to work in the mill for up to sixteen hours a day. He had whippers watching ready to whip if a child fell asleep. He chained the children to their work so they couldn’t run away.

So there they were, this dirty band of ignorant poor people standing outside his door. Making demands. Demands.

Sir Robert got his gun and shot the ring-leader dead. Yep. There was no quicker way to get them back to work.