1602. Cosy slippers

Granny Sugden’s house may have been warm and cosy, but she always had cold feet. She would put several socks on and slip her socked feet into fluffy slippers as she sat in her arm chair to watch television. All to no avail. Her feet stayed cold, and that was that. The only time she had warm feet was in the shower.

Granny Sugden’s granddaughter had a brainwave; she would buy a pair of those heated house slippers that plug in. Sort of like an electric blanket only in the shape of slippers, both slippers joined by a safe electric wire. That way Granny could watch television with her feet cosily tucked away.

The granddaughter found a pink pair. Happy Birthday Granny! She opened her parcel and was… delighted. Thrilled! Of course, there was no electric plug near her armchair, but the problem was solved with an extension cord. Just the bee’s knees, said Granny. Just the cat’s pyjamas! Just what the doctor ordered! Her granddaughter left to go home, with Granny sitting in her armchair as content as could be. She would have purred if she had been a cat.

An hour or two later the granddaughter thought she would check to see how things were going. She phoned. Granny leaped out of her chair and went to dash to the sideboard to get the ringing phone. She forgot that her slippers were wired up together. She tripped and hit her head on the coffee table.

Granny Sugden never had to worry about cold feet ever again.

1543. Southern winter solstice

Jakob was cold. It had been a frigid winter. Jakob didn’t have much money and was out of firewood. The fireplace lay dead. The freezing outside wind seeped through the cracks in his window frames. He had covered the cracks with tape, but the wind still found a way. He was wrapped in clothes and blankets. He simply could not get warm.

Jakob had stayed up all night. Not even the bed had warmed. Jakob turned on his oven to high and opened the oven door. At least the oven heat should warm things a little. And it did. At least it did until the electric bill arrived and he couldn’t pay it. Then the electric company turned the power off.

It had been a freezing night. Utterly freezing. Jakob knew he would die. He sat in a chair and waited.

The new day dawned sunny and warm.