Tag Archives: dodo

1245. Resurrected extinctions

Mitch never realized it would make him a billionaire. He woke up one morning and discovered he was a billionaire. He had developed a technique to “resurrect” extinct species. It wasn’t that fancy a technology, Mitch thought. He was simply doing his job, and next thing there was a dodo running around his back yard.

The Forest and Bird Society made him an honorary lifetime member. Every ivy-league university with the slightest tinge of green conferred on him an honorary doctorate. The accolades and money poured in. Mitch thought it time he showed his appreciation for such benevolence. He held a feast and invited all these kind people.

Just to show how humdrum the process was – how easy to recreate extinct species – Mitch served up extinct Passenger Pigeon Pie, followed by a roasted extinct Caribbean Monk Seal. No one touched a thing.

Jolly vegetarians.

347. Dodos


Some thought it to be the most exciting scientific discovery in years.

On a smallish rocky outcrop in Mauritius, two scientists discovered a pair of breeding dodos. The dodos had a nest with several eggs.

Scientist Dolina Hetherington, along with fellow biologist Rory Parkinson, said that the eggs tasted more like duck eggs than regular hen’s eggs. “They would’ve been better poached,” added Rory. “Dolina always insists on scrambling her eggs.”

“And the dodo flesh,” said Dolina, “was a little too salty for my taste.”

“They really needed to be stuffed with a sage and onion stuffing,” said Rory. “Not at all like pigeon, I thought. More like chicken with a hint of pork. Next time I’m going to roast them and not stick them in a pie.”

Dolina concurred. “Dodo pie isn’t exactly my cup of tea.”