2160. Dentures

It was strange. The dentist’s business had been broken into eighteen times and yet nothing had been taken. Nothing, it appeared, had been touched.

The video showed each time a person wearing a loose black kaftan-styled garment with an unattached black cloth covering the head. The figure would head to where the dentist kept any dentures that needed adjusting or fixing. It was impossible to see what was going on but it appeared that no dentures had gone missing in any of the break-ins. There were no signs of anything having been tampered with.

It was only after this had happened ten or eleven times that a highly specialized forensic scientist was called in. Such scientists charge the earth, and there wasn’t a murder or any serious consequences that called for someone so expensive to investigate. However it had happened far too often and the mystery had to be somehow solved.

It took the scientist quite a time to discover anything and by then there had been further break-ins, and not just at this dentist’s facilities. Other dentists had reported similar goings-on. In one of the dentures, only one, the scientist found the tiniest implanted microphone.

By now the owner of the dentures with the implant was crying out: Where are my teeth? I am sick of eating soup.

“You’re a typical silly old lady,” said the scientist. “I sent everyone a message. Check your email or your phone.”

“I’m not on email,” said the silly old lady, “and I don’t have a phone.”

Ah! Mystery solved! Further investigation revealed that only those without email or mobile phones had their dentures implanted with a microphone. China had demanded that everyone be follow-able. Google was desperate not to lose the contract.

1799. A full set of teeth

Bruno had lost most of his teeth. It wasn’t because he’d lost them in a fight or anything. Nor had he lost them through lack of care. He had two top teeth right in the front and very little else in his gums. When he smiled he looked like a rabbit; or at least a caricature of a rabbit.

He had brushed his teeth throughout life, and he had been to the dentist when it was deemed absolutely necessary. But his teeth had decided to go on the move and migrated into a bunch. The specialist pulled most of them out to make room and said “You need dentures”.

Getting dentures was easier said than done. They cost money, which Bruno didn’t have. And then he met Bianca. She was as rich as hell. She laughed at Bruno and called him “My little bunny rabbit.” He didn’t mind because they were in love and she paid for his dentures.

That was years ago. They divorced after a few months. Bianca claimed in court that Bruno married her only to get expensive dentures. The judge would have none of it. These days Bruno lives off the interest in the divorce settlement. He met Patsy-Lee on a recent Mediterranean island cruise. She fell in love with his smile.

998. Free parking

Matilde didn’t normally use the parking building down town. She usually parked a distance from where she wanted to go and avoided having to pay those “town council rats who want to squeeze money out of every stone in the city”.

This time, however, she had to visit the dentist urgently, and finding a car park space where she didn’t have to pay was the last thing on her mind. So she entered the parking building, collecting her ticket from the automatic slot machine as she drove in.

The dentist took longer than expected. She had to wait, and then they extracted a tooth because of an abscess. She had been away several hours.

Her parking building ticket said to REMEMBER TO PAY BEFORE LEAVING. So Matilde wandered around the seven story parking building for quite some time looking for the automatic machine that would read her ticket and tell her how much and where to pay. She couldn’t find it.

Then she saw a person wearing a uniform and presumed it was some sort of parking building attendant, but they said the uniform was from the nearby supermarket where they worked, so Matilde saw someone else and asked them and they said they didn’t know how you paid for the parking because they never used the building.

In the end, Matilde didn’t know what to do, so she got in her car and drove to the exit. She presumed that payment must be made at the exit. The automatic arm at the exit simply said please put your ticket in the slot. When she did, it said YOU MUST PAY FIRST.

There was a car behind Matilde. She was almost in tears and the numbing injection from the dentist was starting to wear off. She couldn’t back back because of the car behind her. Then the nice man driving the car behind came up and asked what the trouble was.

He gave Matilde his paid for parking ticket and said he would tailgate behind her. And he did that, driving his car bumper to bumper out through the upraised arm of the parking building’s exit. Two cars escaped for the price of one.

And that was how Matilde met her husband.

Listen the story being read HERE!

924. The smile

David judged people by their teeth. He was a dentist after all. There could be coffee stains, or cavities from too much sugar, or plaque from lack of care. There was so much that could be told about a person just by looking at their teeth.

David was young, keen, vibrant, eager after his recent graduation as a dentist to climb up the othodontical ladder. Tooth decay, root canals, gum disease, crowns, were all part of…

And then he saw her! Just across the room! Long straight shining black hair. A face carved from the whitest marble! The most beautiful of eyes! He’d never seen a creature so wondrous. Their eyes met…

…and then she smiled.

To listen to the story being read click HERE!

415. A couple of frogs

Frank lay flat on his back in the dentist’s chair. The dentist had both hands, a bag of cotton wool and a drill in Frank’s mouth, and the assistant had one hand, a high-pressure hose and a suction pump. Frank wanted desperately to swallow, but there was no way he could manoeuvre any movement of his epiglottis.

And then he saw it. On the ceiling. A sticker of two frogs dancing. They were stuck on the ceiling. They were clearly put there so the patient had something to look at.

Frank started to giggle. The frogs weren’t even funny. When he thought they weren’t funny, somehow he found it funnier. Then he started to laugh. The drill, the hands and the suction pump were withdrawn. Frank had to sit up.

“What’s funny?” asked the dentist.

“Nothing,” said Frank. “It’s just the frogs.”

Frank could tell that the dentist was slightly annoyed.

“Well just recover and we’ll get back to it,” grumbled the dentist.

Frank recovered. The chair went back down. The drilling recommenced.

Frank started to giggle.