1010. Last rites

We’ve just finished burying my mother-in-law. Such an occasion is always sad. She now shares the same grave as her husband, which is something they always wanted.

My wife wasn’t overly sad, even though it was her mother. Her mother was old and had had a good life; “a good innings” as the saying goes. She got a bit difficult towards the end. She could get quite rude and demanding.

We’ll plant a rose or something on her grave. That’ll be nice. It’s always difficult to know where to bury these bodies. We’re running out of room in the garden. I told my wife to be a bit more discerning in the future when she swings the spade.

901. An inordinate number of passings

Janice Hazel Rainey, the Member of Parliament for Chuffachoochoo, West Dunderland, said she was concerned about the high percentage of deaths that occurred in rest homes and retirement villages. The number of deaths per head of population was out of proportion to the deaths that occurred in other sectors of society. It was even higher than those killed in traffic accidents.

Although 98% of old people claimed that death was relatively imminent, the margin of error was 3.7%, so it was likely that an even greater percentage of elderly people were destined for death.

Janice Hazel Rainey proposed a solution; a good number of the deaths occurred while the victims were sleeping, so all beds, bedroom fixtures, and even bedrooms themselves, were removed from retirement villages and rest homes. Similarly, a number of deaths occurred in bathrooms, so lavatory bowls, basins, baths, and showers were removed.

Mrs. Vera Jolliffe, widow, aged 94, said she was delighted with the improvements and felt so much more confident in being able to reach 100.

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