Tag Archives: dating

1845. To find someone nice

Destiny said she didn’t marry her husband’s job; she married her husband. Quite frankly, she hated her husband’s job; cows, cows, cows. All he did every morning was milk cows. All he did every afternoon was milk cows. Was there ever time off?

Roman was doing his best. He’d grown up on a dairy farm. Dairy farming was all he knew. He’d worked hard throughout his teens. His father left Roman the farm. He built a special house on it for his widowed mother. He met and married Destiny. That was about his life.

Destiny didn’t merely love Roman; she fell in love with the prestigiousness of his habitation. How wonderful to live on a farm! How wonderful to have all this space! A house! A garden! Some chickens! A pet calf for the children when children came along! Fresh milk! All her friends married labourers of one sort or another; plumbers, carpenters, truck drivers. They lived in hovels in town. She lived in a mansion; more of a manor. She alone had married into proper bliss.

Can’t you take some time off so we can get away? asked Destiny.

The cows can’t not be milked.

Pay someone else to do it.

We can’t afford to do that yet.

Since a while Roman’s mother cooked one decent meal a day and brought it over. Destiny has gone off somewhere in pursuit of happiness. It’s all over. Roman wished he could get out sometimes and perhaps meet someone nice. If only he could find someone to milk the cows say one night a week.

Success! He found Ned Burton’s daughter from up the road to milk the cows on Thursdays. Betty knew the ropes; she was brought up on a farm. In fact, Betty helped milk the cows twice a day every day of the week. And on his day off Roman would give her a hand to milk. He didn’t need to look too far to find someone nice.

1439. An engagement party

Herbert and his daughter Dolly were on to a good thing. Dolly was rather photogenic and would post her voluptuousicity on the dating pages of the internet. Some handsome lawyer would soon fall for her, and shower her with requests. Dolly always insisted on gifts sent by some online company or other. There were lots of online catalogues to choose from.

As things went further down the track, they would arrange to meet. The gifts continued of course. That is when Dolly’s father, Herbert, stepped in. No way could they meet with his daughter, he angrily texted. There was to be no further communication.

So far, Dolly has been proposed to forty-two times. Usually she sells the gifts on.

1233. Distance romance

Paul had a number of relationships that didn’t go anywhere. There was Aimee. She was pleasant enough, but was into her horse which wasn’t an animal that Paul could get enthusiastic about. There was Bethany. She was enthusiastic about her family tree, and in the end Paul knew that if he heard any more about her third cousin twice removed he’d go bonkers.

Someone suggested that Paul try a dating service online. They use computers to find suitable pairs. You simply register your details and next thing you’ll be chatting with someone who fits whatever. So Paul did that, and that is how he met Dawn.

Dawn was the one! They clicked together and all the days of the week melded into one. Every night they’d be chatting away online about this and that, and that and this, and everything in between. It was without doubt a match planned since the inception of the universe.

Dawn had a baby, about seven months old, and Paul said such things didn’t matter. He would treat the child as his own. Everything was going to be wonderful. They had never met in the real but it was on the cards. They hadn’t even swapped phone numbers. Who needs to when you chat online?

And then Paul’s computer broke down and he lost all internet connections. So that was the end of that.

940. Off to the movies

940janni

Janni had invited Josie to go with him to the pictures. Josie’s mother was not pleased. She took Josie into her confidence:

“Look,” she said, “you do know that Janni’s father is gay, and his mother reportedly is a lesbian. I’d always thought Janni himself was gay. I’m not at all happy that you’re going to the movies with him.”

Josie thought that perhaps now was not the time…