2188. Talula Does the Hula

It was preposterous, said the judge. The poor little girl’s parents had named her Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii. The parents must have been drunk when they settled on a name. The little girl had told everyone that her name was Kay. Few knew that her registered name was Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii.

Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii was currently the victim of a custody battle, which is why she came to court and her name came to light.

The mother explained that Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii was conceived in Honolulu while they were on vacation. It was normal in her culture to name a child after something significant that occurred from conception until birth. Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii seemed reasonable at the time.

The father during the custody battle was nowhere to be seen. Your explanation seems reasonable, said the judge. I hereby award Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii to the custody of her mother, Hole In The Condom.

2137. Custody

He was like that – Bruno. He knew that Coralie had all sorts of allergies. She was asthmatic and would react particularly to flower pollen. That’s why every time Bruno visited he would bring her a bunch of lilies. The pollen was atrocious.

Of course, Coralie had to pretend to be pleased, but the minute Bruno left she would take the lilies outside and put them on the back lawn. By then it was too late. The allergy was about to run its course for several days.

Bruno visited once every two weeks to pick up their daughter, Melinda. She would go to Bruno’s every second weekend. With Melinda gone, Coralie had asthma to keep her company.

Bruno was a lawyer. He knew the ins and outs of things. Coralie knew, because Bruno had told her, that if she made a fuss about the flowers he’d make a case that she was too ill to care for Melinda. So that’s why Coralie tried to look pleased.

Anyway, Bruno didn’t have to worry about custody too much; the next time he returned Melinda home Coralie had had an asthma attack and was dead.