1910. Grandfather Giuseppe

Giuseppe felt out of place. Several months earlier he’d come from his home in Italy to see his daughter and meet his three grandchildren for the first time. It hadn’t worked out well. His grandchildren couldn’t speak Italian and he couldn’t speak English. After the initial excitement of the first meeting tension simmered.

Still, he maintained a positive attitude. With his daughter – now a solo mother – at work he was left to mind the grandchildren during the day. It was summer. They took advantage of him, especially the oldest who was fourteen. Giuseppe suspected, gauging things from the tone, that some of the English words used at him were not the politest.

Now with the summer over and the grandchildren back at school, Giuseppe set sail for home!

1319. An elephantine love affair

Kwanza was an African elephant – from Botswana. Minrada was an Asian elephant – from Sri Lanka. They fell in love.

“Culturally,” said the Professor of Cultural Studies at the University, “the two will have irreconcilable differences. Culturally they will have little in common. The marriage will not, cannot, last.”

“Genetically,” said the Professor of Genetics at the University, “they are from two difference species. They simply will not be able to make a baby. The marriage will not, cannot, last.”

“Cuisine-wise,” said the Professor of Culinary Etiquette at the University, “one of them is going to get sick of eating grass instead of leaves. The marriage will not, cannot, last.”

“But we love each other,” said Minrada and Kwanza. “We’re not marrying each other’s culture.”

That was years ago. They’re still together. No kids. They alternate between eating leaves and grass. And they came to realize fairly fast that they DID in fact marry into each other’s culture.

1108. Something to bleat about

What a wonderful international gathering! Some are black and some are white! But it’s not so much their place of origin that counts; it’s more where they are going to. They are destined to be sent all over the world! What inspiration in just one flock of sheep!

The sheep third left towards the middle is destined to end its days facing Mecca and will travel to Saudi Arabia. The sheep it is currently talking to will be sent to China – Beijing to be precise. For all we know it could end up in the house of the President of China himself. Arabia and China! And to think how Lawrence of Arabia’s and Marco Polo’s adventures were once regarded as exotic. Now with such exchanges common throughout the world the planet is both smaller and culturally enhanced.

The sheep second top left is looking through the gate. It is as if it cannot wait for the adventure to begin! It is destined for the United Kingdom, and it is particularly exciting because it is the place of origin of recent ancestors. In fact, its grandmother came here from Wales as a frozen embryo a few years back. In a jet plane! Can you imagine?

Some of the sheep with black faces are a little disappointed. They were destined for American and European countries, but there was such a fuss. People (those things on two legs) claimed it was like the Black and White Minstrel Show and was making fun of other races. So now they are going to countries that don’t care what colour people are, such as Sri Lanka.

Those going to Canada are a little worried about the cold, especially if they are sent to northern parts and are without any woollen coat. But they have been reassured that the cold will not affect them as they will be frozen before they leave. Not to mention well-wrapped.

Such a United Nations! Such enriching cultural exchanges! And yet, just a flock of sheep! The time can’t come fast enough. Chop-chop, I say.

1089. Cultural clash

(First, a housekeeping notice! From now on there will be no daily story posted on the days there is a music or a poetry posting. All I’m really trying to say is: there will be only one posting a day! The music is posted on a Wednesday (New Zealand time) and the poem(s) on the first of the month and then at whim throughout the month. This is to prevent a gluttonous overkill! Thanks – Bruce)

(* By way of explanation for today’s story:
In parts of Polynesian it is insulting to stand higher than a person of greater status.
In parts of Polynesia it is insulting to look at a person in authority when being spoken to.
The list could go on… and on…)

European Teacher (seated): Makafalani ’Oto’ota, stand up. Look at me when you’re being spoken to. Look me in the eye like a man. I said stand up. I never told you that you could sit down again. LOOK AT ME. You’ll never get on in the world with that attitude. STAND UP AND LOOK AT ME. Oh God! You’re on detention. You’re utterly, utterly disrespectful. It’s impossibly trying to teach common courtesy to some people.

1011. Travel

We have a fairly healthy bank balance, which means we can travel as a couple overseas on a fairly regular basis. It is so enriching to experience other cultures around the world.

We always stay with the Aloha Hotel chain. They are in thirty seven countries, which is more than enough to satisfy our desire for travel. The hotels are always comfortable with rooms that almost always have splendid views. Every hotel has a spa and luxurious swimming pools. The food in the hotel restaurants cannot be faulted, and they certainly know how to mix their drinks.

Last year, when we were in San Antonio, I thought I would test their skills by asking for a Blue Margarita. They didn’t blink an eye. A Blue Margarita arrived within seconds complete with a slice of lemon shaped like a cowboy hat!

In Thailand I asked for a Mimosa. Again, without as much as a pause, the waiter (those Asian waiters can be so disarming) arrived with a Mimosa cocktail but with a sprig of lemongrass rather than the zest of a real lemon. Such a nice ethnic touch!

In Germany, Bavaria to be more exact, everyone was drinking beer out of some sort of Toby mugs, but I ordered a Flirtini. It arrived in a flash, complete with vodka, apricot liqueur, cranberry juice, pineapple juice, and champagne. Instead of the customary strawberry however, there was a little yellow berry of some sort which apparently is native to the region.

As I say, it is so enriching to travel and to experience the difference of each country and culture. And there is always, with the Aloha Hotel Chain, the advantage of never having to leave the hotel.