Tag Archives: computers

2429.  Saved!

It had been ten years since Cosmos started her novel and now the moment of completion had arrived! Cosmos poured herself a wine and sat staring at her computer screen. Satisfaction! So much water under the bridge in those last ten years, but now, such a wonderful feeling of completeness.

Her marriage had broken up in that time. The ex-husband thought she was nuts writing a novel and it was taking up more and more of her time. They drifted apart, and then they drifted away. It was for the best. The kids had grown up and left the nest. The rent had gone up. The price of groceries had rocketed. Cosmos had three different jobs over those ten years.

There were little things too that had changed. Her eye sight had dimmed. She now needed reading glasses. She had developed an allergy to walnuts. The old car needed its muffler fixed. But now the novel was complete! These little day to day things could demand her full attention. But first an early bed was in order. She would go to bed and read! But where were her reading glasses?

Cosmos pressed the save button one last time. Saved! Yes or no? Yes! “I don’t know how many times that novel has been saved over the last ten years,” thought Cosmos. Another wine! Just another one final satisfying save of the novel! She retired.

The first thing Cosmos did in the morning was to check on her completed novel. She had formatted the hard drive.

1682. Computer troubles

Ernie was having trouble with his computer. Half the programs had stopped working. Adverts would pop up uninvited. Anti-virus programs would find and delete important files that weren’t viruses or worms or Trojans or anything other than important files.

Ernie was at the end of his tether. One fine early summer’s day he picked up his PC and threw it out the window. Unbeknownst to him the CEOs of every computer company in the world were sitting outside under the window chatting during a break from an important meeting about what was the best bank in which to store all their greedy money. Ernie’s computer landed on top of them and killed the lot.

Ernie was arrested and tried for murder. When the evidence was presented the judge was heard to exclaim “Good on you, Ernie”.

The judge stood and applauded.
The jury stood and applauded.
Lawyers and stenographers stood and applauded.
The whole court room exploded into three hearty cheers for Ernie.

Hip hip hooray!
Hip hip hooray!
Hip hip hooray!

1020. Denis the hacker


Denis was a master hacker. He could hack into anyone’s computer. He just had to sit at home and hack away. It might be naughty, but it was pretty phenomenal.

Then one day Denis was hacking away and discovered that someone else was hacking into his own computer. What right did they have to do that? They were clearly changing items on his grocery list.

Naturally, Denis was outraged. He reported them to the police.