Tag Archives: computers

1682. Computer troubles

Ernie was having trouble with his computer. Half the programs had stopped working. Adverts would pop up uninvited. Anti-virus programs would find and delete important files that weren’t viruses or worms or Trojans or anything other than important files.

Ernie was at the end of his tether. One fine early summer’s day he picked up his PC and threw it out the window. Unbeknownst to him the CEOs of every computer company in the world were sitting outside under the window chatting during a break from an important meeting about what was the best bank in which to store all their greedy money. Ernie’s computer landed on top of them and killed the lot.

Ernie was arrested and tried for murder. When the evidence was presented the judge was heard to exclaim “Good on you, Ernie”.

The judge stood and applauded.
The jury stood and applauded.
Lawyers and stenographers stood and applauded.
The whole court room exploded into three hearty cheers for Ernie.

Hip hip hooray!
Hip hip hooray!
Hip hip hooray!

1020. Denis the hacker

1020hacker

Denis was a master hacker. He could hack into anyone’s computer. He just had to sit at home and hack away. It might be naughty, but it was pretty phenomenal.

Then one day Denis was hacking away and discovered that someone else was hacking into his own computer. What right did they have to do that? They were clearly changing items on his grocery list.

Naturally, Denis was outraged. He reported them to the police.