Tag Archives: computer

2483. Hush! Naseby is at prayer!

Naseby was a religious man. Some thought he may have overdone the religious bit. He would spend a good hour every morning on his knees saying his prayers.

One day he was on his computer looking up to see if “Naseby” was a real name or not when he came across a link that read: Click here to download the most addictive computer game ever devised.

Naseby clicked.

He had never come across anything quite so exciting. The graphics were unbelievable. The plot was fantastic. It was certainly a challenge and utterly addicting. So enamoured was Naseby with the game that the time he put aside for prayers every morning went down the plughole.

God was abandoned.

It was then that Naseby had a vision. God appeared and said, “For every extra hour you give me in the morning I will give you an extra hour at the end of your life. Think of the computer games you could play!”

Naseby agreed. He worked out roughly that if he did an hour a day for ten years he would get about 150 extra days. He immediately spent an hour saying his prayers. He then returned to his computer game. After an hour he dropped dead.

1137. Know-all

Leo had used the same computer program for four years. He was an expert at it. He could use it standing on his head.

Some of the things Leo had to do with the program were fairly amazing. Some of the processes were complicated and took a long time.

One day a man came along who happened to be Leo’s boss. Leo proudly worked away on his computer.

“You do an excellent job,” said the boss. “Show me how you do it.”

So Leo showed his boss how he used the program.

“Why don’t you do it like this?” said the boss, showing Leo a shortcut. “It will knock several hours off the way you do things.”

Leo thanked his boss, but he wasn’t going to change. He waited until his boss left, and then he went back to his old ways. He wasn’t having a know-all tell him how to use a program he’d been master at for four years.

802. The murderer’s name is…

802type

Creighton had just enough time to look up from his typing at the computer to see the murder weapon descend.

Quickly he typed:

The murderer’s name is: hfdgsdjkswjhopnijkfghhhhhhhhhhsfsggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg g g g

If he hadn’t been so fastidious about putting in the apostrophe in “murderer’s”, he might have managed to type out the first two letters of his wife’s name, and she wouldn’t be cavorting around on the sunlit beaches of Grecian isles with her toy-boy lover.

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