Tag Archives: cliff

1432. Rampant teens

Percy Ellis and Gilbert Eichstaedt were two sixteen year olds who had let their hormones go rampant. In the area was a tower that enabled cell phone coverage for the forty or so houses in the rural valley that couldn’t connect to the phone satellite. The tower relayed a connection. The locals relied on the tower for communication with the outside world both for internet and phone.

Percy and Gilbert got in a jeep, and driving up a bumpy farm track reached the tower. They were messing around and then Percy cut some wires on the tower “because they were there” and the forty or so houses were plunged into no coverage.

Mr Eddie Edwards lived in a farm house near the tower. It was a good thirty minute stroll to the tower. He set out on foot, for it was a lovely day, to see why there was no coverage. When he reached the tower he saw the cut wires. Then he heard voices calling for help.

Percy and Gilbert had driven their jeep over a bank and the vehicle was perched precariously on the edge of a cliff, rocking, with the two inside.

“Help! Help! Phone for help!” they cried when they saw Mr Eddie Edwards looking down from the top of the bank.

Mr Eddie Edwards strolled the thirty minute walk back to his house. He put on the kettle to make a nice cup of tea.

1013. Top of the cliff

Man on top

Some compare me to Mother Teresa (if you can remember that far back). Well I’m not Mother Teresa; I’m NOT standing at the BOTTOM of the cliff picking up the pieces like she did. I’m there at the top of the cliff. I’m at the top of the cliff helping people.

It happened almost accidentally. I started personally helping people at the top of the cliff and invited others to contribute. People cottoned on. I found the best way to get help was to promise them things; for example, if they gave ten thousand I’d make sure their photo got into the paper. I have enough connections to do that! People are so vain. You have to use their foibles in order to make charity work. I called my charity the Cliff Rockbottom Foundation.

It’s strange, but the more I help people the more I get enjoyment. It’s so satisfying pushing people off that cliff.