Tag Archives: Christian

1836. Reap what you sow

Carol disliked Christmas immensely. It wasn’t because of people teasing her about her name, it was because everyone seemed to get Christmas presents and she didn’t get anything. All the other kids at school got presents, like Judith who got a doll when she already had one, and Marlene got a kitten.

It wasn’t because they were Jewish or anything either. Nor were they Christians. Her parents didn’t give her anything for Christmas but they seemed to go from one office Christmas party to another, and they even had a party at home with all sorts of decorations and lights and a tree.

On Christmas morning, no one pretended to come down the chimney, even though Carol left a peanut brownie that she had pinched from the cookie jar in the kitchen. But it was still there in the morning, and her parents slept in until eleven o’clock. To fill in the time waiting for them to get out of bed, Carol watched television on her own. And when they got up they never even said “Merry Christmas”.

“That’s because your parents are very busy,” said Marlene’s mother, Mrs. Brocklehurst. Carol spent quite a bit of time at the Brocklehurst’s house. Carol was dropped off there by her mother whenever she was having guests for an afternoon tea or dinner or something.

Anyway, that was years ago. These days Carol’s parents are in a retirement home. Carol’s mother is bed-ridden and her father is in a wheelchair. Carol never visits them. It’s not that she’s mean or anything; it’s just that it never occurred to her.

1223. Death of a martyr

Constance was preciously pious. She said her prayers. She read her bible. She was kind to others. She loved Jesus. And most of all she wanted to die a martyr.

Since childhood she had read the lives of those heroes and heroines who had died for their faith. How wonderful their lives! How inspiring their deaths! What a privilege it would be to join their ranks in heaven!

One day, some horrible people came along and captured Constance. They tortured and raped her for three days. “That’s for being a Christian,” they said. Then they tortured and raped her for another three days and stuck sharp things under her nails. It was excruciating. It was sheer agony.

Constance cursed God and died.

Oh well.

593. Fundies

© Bruce Goodman 26 May 2015


Trevor couldn’t stand those Christian fundamentalists who every now and then came knocking at his door. Pushing their opinions on others, that’s all they were doing. They wouldn’t take no for an answer.

It was impossible to have a reasonable discussion with them. They just wanted to preach in his face. He hated the illogicality of it all. Why can’t they be reasonable?

The next ones that come he’ll get his shotgun and blow their bloody irrational heads off.