Tag Archives: catty

2664. To win the day

Pam was the mother of the groom. She had found the bride’s mother loud and offensive. She had tried to be polite in the weeks leading up to the wedding but she might as well have been talking to a brick wall.

“The bridesmaids will be wearing pale blue. Try to wear something to match colour-wise. And try to be a little fashionable. The shoes you wore to Denise’s wedding were abominable. This is my daughter’s wedding; try not to spoil it.”

Pam smiled politely, but the bride’s mother’s remarks had cut her to the quick. It was after all her son’s wedding too. Of course she wanted to look her best. Pam planned her outfit meticulously. She didn’t want to upstage the bride and she wasn’t exactly made of money.

The wedding day came. The bride’s mother arrived looking like she was a transgender heading for a strip show at a children’s library. Pam arrived in a simple dark green skirt with a pale cream blouse and with gold-painted wooden Swedish clogs and a straw sunhat. It was different and stuck out a mile, and yet she looked stunning. It was exactly right.

A few talked about the bride. No one talked about the bride’s mother. Everyone was gobsmacked by the simplicity and sheer beauty of the groom’s mother. When an inebriated bride’s mother accidentally spilled red wine all over her daughter’s wedding dress, the bride’s mother declared: “Don’t fret. Ask Pam if she’s got a spare set of gardening clothes.” No one laughed. Pam never viewed the wedding as a competition, but the bride’s mother knew that Pam had won the day.

824. Catty


How difficult it is to hide anything from Aunt Emelia. When she asked Adelaide to house-mind she said, “Definitely no cats.”

Aunt Emelia was going overseas for her annual break. She would be away for six weeks. Six weeks without a cat! Goodness! There was no way Aunt Emelia would know if Adelaide brought her cat along.

Bring the cat she did. The scratching on the back of the sofa was a little hard to hide. The cat fur worked its way deep into the carpet. The stench of cat pee was unable to be disguised. The light-coloured kitchen wall next to the cat bowl was stained by flying cat food.

After six weeks, Aunt Emelia returned.

Adelaide wasn’t paid.

Adelaide was sent a bill for damages.

Adelaide was written out of the will.

How catty is that?

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