1382. Saintly devotion

Matilde was devoutly religious. She prayed frequently to all the saints – at least to as many as possible. She always prayed the same prayer: Dear Saint N., Please give me a happy life.

Well…

Saint Hildegard von Bingen thought that Matilde would look fabulous driving around in a bright pink Volkswagen. And besides, it was a German brand. “I can see her now,” said Saint Hildegard, “and I’m sure it can be arranged.”

But Saint Thomas Aquinas thought that a bright pink Volkswagen was frivolous. “Why not find her a little Italian Vespa? She could run around in that and have no parking problems.”

Saint Katharine Drexel was on another venture altogether. She thought if Matilde had a little cottage by the sea she would have much happiness. “And the view! Can you imagine? Especially if she drove an American Ford.”

Saint Cuthbert had other ideas. “Look into the future,” he said. “Don’t you know about dangerous coastland erosion? Not to mention tsunamis.”

The discussion between the saints in heaven about how best to make Matilde happy went on and on. At times it almost became vitriolic. The saints are not talking to one another. Matilda got nothing, and lived a most miserable life.

1248. Toot! Toot!

What a relief it was (at last! at last!) in this noise polluted world, to celebrate the arrival of silent cars.

You’ve no idea how many pedestrians got run over.

Music 128: Are we there yet?

Remember those Sunday jaunts in the car? Mum, Dad, are we there yet?

Listen to the music HERE!

851. Cars

Twenty-three year old Tony was “commissioned” to take his father’s old car and drive his younger brother, Ned, and Ned’s three friends to a sports venue. Ned and his mates were fourteen.

Suddenly they were passed by a really fast bright red sports car.

“My uncle has a car like that,” said Herbie. “It’s a Chevrolet Camaro V8 Sports Car 1987, so it’s almost a classic. It’s blue, and boy it goes at one heck of a speed. It’s worth a packet too. My uncle’s really rich. He’s got other cars too.”

“My father’s friend has a really modern car,” said Jock. “He uses his cell phone to lock it and start it, and when it rains the window wipers go on automatically. Even the seats are heated. It’s got three levels of heat. It cost a hell of a lot. It’s amazing. He’s going to take me for a ride in it one day, he says.”

“My father’s got a Subaru Impreza STI race track car,” said Bernie. “It was built by Cody Crocker, an ex WRC engineer, using a standard engine and gearbox with Motec ECU and diff controller, Possum Bourne rally cage, Sparco seats, belts and steering wheel, MCA suspension, stripped out interior and other added safety equipment. It’s painted black, worth about 175 thousand they reckon.”

“I own a pushbike myself,” said Tony. “What do you guys own?”

To listen to the story being read click HERE!

839. Another statistic

There were four people in the car. It was speeding along the road. I know it was speeding because it passed me going at a terrific rate. That was about two minutes before I came across the accident.

The road was wet. It had been raining, but was now clearing up. There was a right hand curve in the road, and the driver obviously missed it, and the car went straight ahead and plummeted down a small bank. Three of the people in the car seem to have been thrown clear, including the driver. They were standing together on the side of the road. But the fourth, a passenger in the back seat I think, was a mess.

There was blood everywhere, and he obviously had head injuries. One of his eyeballs had completely left its socket and was hanging down like a yoyo. He was lying in the middle of the road, about ten metres from where the car went down, so he must’ve somehow been thrown back out of the car after impact.

The blood! I’ve never seen anything like it. I think he was still alive. I’m not sure though, because the first aid attendant kept getting in the way of my camera.

To listen to the story being read click HERE!