When Trixie Caldhurst was offered “half a pig for the freezer” from a neighbouring farmer she was delighted. Half a pig was more than enough to keep her going in pork for a long, long time. It was going to be such a saving. What a kind and thoughtful neighbour! Trixie wouldn’t be able to thank them enough. She bought a bottle of wine and a thankyou card to express her thanks when the meat arrived.
Arrive it did! Trixie was most grateful. Except… it wasn’t chopped up. Half a pig was half a pig.
Trixie phoned her friend, Monica. They were both nearing their mid-seventies. Together they could hardly lift the half pig. Trixie looked up on the internet as to how to chop up a pig. The first thing was to split it in half. That was already done. As for the rest, the problem was even if they had the right tools they were in no position to weld them efficiently.
Monica went home and came back with a tomahawk and a hacksaw. Over the course of the next five hours they had the time of their lives. And a few wines. Monica was able to take home a good half of the half pig for herself.
“Necess… neceess.. nesissity is the muvva of invenshin,” declared Trixie at the end of the day. The pork chops were nothing like one would buy in the shop. But, my word, said Trixie pouring a celebration wine, there’s nothing more delightful than a home-chopped chalk pop!