Tag Archives: bus

Repeat of Story 134: Veljka alights

(Today we begin a week or so of repeats. These stories are not necessarily the best, or the most popular, or the ones I like. I’ve chosen them fairly much at random so I can have the week off! This story, “Veljka alights”, first appeared on this blog on 21 February 2014. Some of you faithful followers who read and commented on this story back then are now old and haggard. Enjoy!)

Veljka began to notice Ramon at school. She was becoming quite infatuated by him; his good looks, his intelligence, his laugh, his sportsmanship, his studiousness, his jovial conversations. He was beautiful. But he hardly noticed her. She noticed him, saw him, heard him, all the time. She would sit in the back corner of the classroom paying little attention to the lessons. Her eyes were on Ramon.

How natural and lovely he was when he chatted away – to everyone but Veljka it seemed. She wasn’t part of his group. For the annual school dance, he asked Cassandra to be his date. Cassandra was a nice person. Veljka wasn’t the jealous sort. But it made her sad.

One day, Veljka was on the bus and Ramon got on. The bus was full, except for one seat next to Veljka. Ramon sat next to her. Their knees accidentally touched. Veljka’s heart raced. She thought she would burst. She thought she would die. She thought she would faint. She thought she would stop breathing. Ahhhh! He didn’t take his knee away.

“How’s it going?” said Ramon.

“Ah, ah, oh,” said Veljka.

“Tell me,” said Ramon, “is your hair naturally that shade? I notice it all the time at school.”

All the time! All the time! “Yes,” said Veljka. “It’s natural. But I was thinking of dyeing it.”

“Don’t dye it,” said Ramon. “It’s beautiful. I notice you all the time.”

Notice me! Notice me!

Ramon left the bus. “Catch you later,” he said.

“See you,” said Veljka. She got off the bus at the next stop. She had overrun her home stop by seventeen minutes. She danced the eight miles home.

1384. A get-rich-quick scheme

Malvina came up with a brilliant plan: she would open a separate, secret bank account. Then if she got married and divorced all the spare money could go into that account. She figured she needed to get married and divorced about four times, depending upon the profitability of the rejected spouse.

All was going fine until the third spouse. He pushed her under a bus.

Without being too nasty, everyone was rather pleased.

1167. Burning bus

When Garth set fire to the bus it was so he could drive it while still burning into the wing of the local hospital. It was an old wooden building. He did it because his life time enemy, Josephine, was in a bed somewhere there.

It so happened that all patients were able to walk, and very quickly they gathered at the bottom of the staircase ready to make a hasty retreat outside.

Garth was still in the bus, laughing his head off. His aim, once the building was aflame, was to dash outside and never be seen again.

As Garth alighted from the bus ready to make his dash, Patient Gwendoline tripped him up with her crutches. Patient Josephine, who had just finished reading “Fifty Shades of Grey” and whose husband, while she was in hospital, had brought her some grapes and a pair of handcuffs to cheer her up, managed to handcuff Garth as he passed and close the other end of the handcuffs over the springs of a bed on wheels.

All traipsed quickly out, except for Garth who dragged the bed behind him and got stuck in the doorway. He burned to death. His dying screams could be heard all over the suburb.

Now, children, tomorrow’s Halloween. The bed Garth burned to death in is the very bed you’re lying in. I managed to get it cheap at the secondhand place. I’m going to turn the light out and you’re all to get a good night’s sleep. We don’t want kiddies yawning their way through trick or treating tomorrow do we?

923. Zita travels by bus

923bus

For about forty years Zita had travelled to work by bus. These days the bus was often crowded and she had to stand. In the early days, if a woman was standing, every man and has dog would offer her a seat. Not these days! These days, even teenagers made her stand all the way to work while they sat and play kitschy-coo on their cell phones.

Zita was heading for sixty and dyed her hair regularly. It made her look younger. No wonder she wasn’t being offered a seat on the bus. At least seats were given up for old ladies.

“Blow it!” thought Zita. “I’m letting the grey come out. That way they’ll offer a seat to an old lady.”

So she did! She let her hair grow grey. She looked a lot older. In fact, she looked more like her age really was.

But no one offered her a seat.

539. Wrong bus

539wrongbus

Astrid was considerably perplexed about the bus timetable. She had bought a ticket and boarded a bus bound for Thrushton. Although she didn’t know the area like the back of her hand, she was relatively sure the bus was heading for the township of Thistlegrove instead.

Being of rather shy temperament she never said a word, neither to another passenger nor to the bus driver. She simply sat upright and fretted, clutching her purse and the string of garlic (of all things!) that she was bringing as a gift to her old friend, Connie, who had moved house to Thrushton.

The bus stop sign said Thistlegrove. “All off”, said the bus driver.

“I thought this bus was going to Thrushton,” said Astrid when alighting.

“Nah,” said the driver. “You must’ve been reading an old timetable.”

The bus drove off. Astrid stood in the street of Thistlegrove not knowing what to do. A (rather handsome) man approached.

“You look a bit lost,” he said to Astrid. “Can I help?”

It was love at first sight. For both. Today, six kids, eighteen grandchildren, and twenty-six great-grandchildren later, Astrid still has the string of garlic. And she reckons it’s all the bus company’s fault.

516. Bike to the bus

516bikebus

Herbert disliked going to school. He was all of nine. He had to bike two miles to catch the school bus. Then after school, he’d get off the bus and bike the two miles home.

He used to hide his bike in the bushes on the side of the road and hitch-hike to the bus. He never had any trouble getting a ride, either to or from the bus stop.

He never had any trouble, never ever, until one day…

…the bus driver said in court a few months later that Herbert never got on the school bus that day.