When Englebert retired he was looking forward to doing what he’d always wanted to do, and that was to learn to make bread. For forty years he had slaved away as a proctologist, and a very good proctologist he was. Now it was time to put such things aside, don the baker’s hat, and learn to make bread.
His wife was a qualified gastroenterologist, and that was how they had met. Glennis had retired two years earlier than Englebert, and had taken up pastry making. She was very good at it. In fact, Englebert blamed her pastry success as being the cause of his growing rotundity.
Englebert’s first attempt at bread was disastrously inedible. Further attempts were described by wife Glennis as being the perfect vehicle for enjoying the taste of melted butter.
These days Englebert has become an expert at growing ranunculus in pots. Englebert is thinking of branching out and growing a greater variety. Already the number of pots on the patio has become a little disturbing. And on the porch. And in the living room. What he needs is a green house.
Quite frankly, Glennis wished he’d just stuck to bread making.
Rhoda was an enthusiast. Sometimes she was accused of not being able to stick to something, but it was nothing like that at all. She would do something for a year, and then move on to another interest. All her interests had something to do with food. Two years ago she was into making pickles and chutneys. She had cupboards full of every combination; fig and leek chutney for example, and apple, rosemary and mango. Last year she was into breads; she made every type of bread under the sun. And this year (she had been given a book for Christmas) she was into edible weeds.
Until her Christmas gift – Edible Weeds of the World – Rhoda had no idea that so many of the plants growing wild were able to be eaten. First she tried wild onion. It grew everywhere. It seemed to be a cross between onion and garlic, and the leaves, flowers and bulbs could all be devoured. Why anyone would ever need to buy onions and garlic and chives after this discovery was anyone’s guess. Wild onions were as common as anything.
And then there were gorse flowers, and wild nasturtiums, and the roots and uncurled fronds of specific ferns, and fennel, and mint, and thistle heads, and… Quickly, Rhoda’s edible weed menu grew and developed into a huge and burgeoning thing of wonder. She foraged and found and used all sorts of weeds she hadn’t even known existed.
It was such a shame when she poisoned her whole family.