Tag Archives: brakes

2139. Everything was hunky-dory

Everything was hunky-dory. Stan had arranged the murder to perfection. Absolutely nothing could go wrong. His wife was definitely on her last legs. He had cut the brake cable on her car. Next time she went out she need only drive out the gate, onto the road, and over the cliff.

“Goodbye, Honey,” he said cheerfully as Patsy left to go shopping. “I’ll open the driveway gate for you.”

“That’s very kind,” said Patsy as she climbed into the car.

Stan opened the gate and stood there ready to close it after she had passed. All was going well. Everything was hunky-dory. Patsy headed for the gate. Her foot slipped on the accelerator.

No brakes.

Repeat of Story 386: Marietta plans a murder

(This is the sixth story in a week or so of repeats. “Marietta plans a murder” first appeared on this blog on 31 October 2014.)

Don’t get me wrong. Marietta wasn’t an evil person. When she decided to murder her husband it was out of the purest of intentions. He had been unfaithful.

Marietta had always vouched for the sanctity of marriage. She couldn’t understand why all these participants in broken marriages insisted on divorce. Hadn’t they vowed to remain faithful unto death?

Now that her husband had committed infidelity after infidelity she knew exactly how these other people felt. Divorce was not good enough. She had promised unto death and that’s what she was going to do.

But how best to go about it and not get caught? Poison? The autopsy would discover it. Gunshot? It would have to be in self-defence, and that would be too difficult to set up.

She would simply (after searching it online) “undo the brakes” of his car. And that’s what she did! He drove to the pub every Thursday evening over a wild and winding road. Thursday was perfect. That was the evening she attended her prayer meeting. She could feign distress, with a touch of hysteria, when the sad news was phoned through.

She drove off in her car for the prayer meeting. It was with a certain amount of nervous excitement.

“Goodbye, darling,” she waved. “Goodbye!”

All that can be said is that great minds think alike. Marietta and her husband were suited to each other down to the ground.

May she rest in peace.