1740. A tale of a transcriptionist

Randolph was quietly excited! He was getting the perfect job. He would never have imagined an opportunity like this would come his way.

For several years he had been a freelance transcriptionist. He worked from home, mainly transcribing medical videos and recordings. But now he was offered a job that would involve so many videos that transcribing them could amount to almost permanent employment. It would make him worry-free as to where the next job was coming from. He had been asked to transcribe a collection of pornographic videos. Imagine that! Getting paid to watch porn all day!

Randolph began the task with a great deal of enthusiasm. The first video took him over four days. He had enormous trouble transcribing all the grunting and oohing that went on. Most of these exclamations he didn’t have a clue how to spell. Basically he made the spelling up.

By the end of the first week he was bored silly. He never wanted to see another pornographic video again in his life. And he still had heaps of videos to transcribe. Weeks dragged on. He had porn coming out his ears. Honestly! It was the most mind-numbing experience of his life. He vowed NEVER! NEVER AGAIN!

And then he was asked to be a voiceover for a new recording of these movies. Yes! Yes! Now that could be interesting!

Randolph was quietly excited! He was getting the perfect job. He would never have imagined an opportunity like this would come his way.

1695. An unapologetic promotion

Wally was bored silly over the holiday period. His mother was up the wall. She’d asked him again and again to mow the lawn and in the end the only way she could get him to do it was bribery. Bribery usually worked as a last resort. The lawns got mowed and Wally was slightly richer. But he was still sour, sullen, and selfish.

At least he had his computer, but that had long since ceased to provide any sort of novelty.

“Being on the computer is no different from being at school,” said Wally. “I’m bored.”

“I know what you could do,” suggested his mother. “You could read Bruce Goodman’s Bits of a Boyhood about growing up in rural New Zealand. I think you’d like it. It’s available online for free.”

The online version is HERE.
The downloadable pdf version is HERE.

Wally reluctantly went to the site and began to read.

“I couldn’t put it down,” said Wally. “I texted my girlfriend and now she’s reading it. I told my friends and now they’re all reading it. When my father gets home from work I’m going to tell him to read it and get everyone in his office to read it, even while they’re at work. The whole world should read Bruce Goodman’s Bits of a Boyhood. It’s the best thing to happen since Adam was a boy. I have no idea why it has never been published. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he got the Nobel Prize for Literature.”

When Wally finished reading it he wanted more. His appetite was insatiable. But sadly, although there are other momentous works by Bruce Goodman, the autobiography finished when the author had just turned eighteen.

Filled with enthusiasm, Wally went out and mowed the lawn a second time. This time there was joy in his heart and a spring in his step.

The same could happen to you, dear Reader, if only you would let it. I wish each and every one of you a happy day!

The online version is HERE.
The downloadable pdf version is HERE.

P.S. If you find yourself mowing the lawn don’t say you weren’t warned.