Heather was 84 when she discovered she had possibly been adopted. Her adopted parents were long dead, as indeed would have been her biological parents.
Her day had started as quite ordinary. She still had all her marbles and was active for her age. It was late morning when she went to check the mailbox. Her life was about to be turned upside down. Kitty, a dear friend and neighbour, had rather nonchalantly asked a few weeks back at what time was Heather born. Heather said she didn’t have a clue but it might be on the birth certificate. So she wrote away for a copy and on this day the birth certificate arrived.
There was no time of birth, but the couple named as her parents were not the parents she had known. In fact there were other little titbits of misinformation. The date was wrong by several days. In fact, the date was possibly correct. Heather had spent a life time wrongfully thinking her birthday was on the 12th whereas in fact it had been two days earlier on the 10th.
The place of birth was news to her as well. She had always presumed she was born in Thrushport, but the certificate clearly stated Sunnytown. And splashed across the information in another hand-writing was the word – ADOPTED.
But the biggest news of all was her name. She had always been called Heather; plain Heather and nothing else. The birth certificate clearly stated her name was Philomena Heather. Philomena! Clear as a bell – Philomena Heather Brighton.
“But Heather,” exclaimed Kitty the dear friend and neighbour. “Brighton is your married name!”
“This,” declared Heather, “almost certainly calls for a celebratory wine.”
Kathleen was expecting her first baby. She was both excited and full of trepidation. She had investigated every possible manner of giving birth. There were all sorts of theories – some to ease the pain of child birth; some to ensure the baby wasn’t disadvantaged in any way.
In the end, after much research, Kathleen decided upon an underwater birth. Yes! A water birth was best. Of course, it would take place at the local birthing centre under the direction of a qualified midwife.
The time arrived! There were no complications. It went as smoothly as possible. Kathleen was relieved and surprised. By the end of the day she took the baby home.
It’s always a big decision for a mermaid whether to give birth in water or on rocks.
How wonderful! Angelka and Steve have just had their first baby. It’s a girl! They have named her after two aunts, Greta Robyn. Aunt Greta reckons she’s as poor as a church mouse, but it’s just to cover up the stashes of cash she seems to have; Aunt Robyn lives on a bed of bank notes. Of course, they didn’t name the baby Greta Robyn in the hope of getting a windfall from the aunts. They liked the combination of names and it is good to respect one’s elders in family matters. The two aunts are the only relatives that Angelka and Steve have.
And what’s this in the mail? It’s a parcel from Aunt Greta.
Dear Angelka and Steve and wee darling Greta Robyn,
Congratulations on the wonderful baby! And congratulations sweet Greta Robyn on being born! Enclosed are some baby booties I knitted. I hope they fit!!!! And they’re pink! I can’t wait to see her.
Love Aunt Greta.
And what’s this in the mail? It’s a letter from Aunt Robyn.
Dear Angelka and Steve,
I can’t let this occasion pass without saying I am horrified, literally horrified, that you have named your retarded baby after me. It is an insult. These days there are tests that can be done early in the pregnancy to determine wellness. I am utterly dismayed that you weren’t responsible enough to take this precaution.