Tag Archives: April fool

904. Farmer Jack

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Jack was a practical man. Being a practical man meant that his dear wife was forever asking him to do things: mend the gate, dig a new garden, pave a path, put in a fish pond… Anyway, they needed a new fence because the cow had got through the rickety old fence and eaten Mrs Jack’s roses.

“We need a new fence,” said Mrs Jack. Jack thought about it and decided that the new fence would need six posts, so he needed six postholes. He hitched the trailer up to the back of his tractor and headed for town.

He went to the wholesalers and asked for six postholes.

“Sure,” they said. “What size?”

“Big ones,” said Jack.

Six big postholes were loaded onto the back of Jack’s trailer and off he set for home. The road was bumpy and half way home Jack looked and noticed that a couple of post holes had fallen off the back of the trailer.

Jack back-backed to try and find them. He backed into one of the holes, and has never been seen since.

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173. Marion’s Fuchsia Vase

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Marion was the unproud processor of a rather disgusting fuchsia-coloured vase. It had been given to her by great-aunt Maggie. Marion kept it in a cupboard, and whenever great-aunt Maggie visited, it was hurriedly fetched and displayed.

But now, great-aunt Maggie had unfortunately passed away. Marion put the vase up for sale on Ebay.

It was Marion’s birthday. Great-niece Samantha arrived with a special gift. “I got a friend to buy it on Ebay,” said Samantha. “I didn’t want you to see what I was buying for you. It’s the same as the one you already have, so you’ll be able to put one at each end of the mantelpiece.”

Marion expressed great delight. But enough is enough. As soon as Samantha left, Marion accidentally dropped it and threw the disgusting fuchsia pieces into the bin.

There was a knock at the door. It was great-niece Samantha. “Got you! April Fool!” she said.

172. Big April Fool

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It was April Fool’s Day. It would be Wouter’s first April Fool’s Day at school. Gretha explained to her son about April Fool’s Day.

“Today,” said Gretha to Wouter, “is April Fool’s Day. People can play tricks on you, and if you get caught out, they will call you A Big April Fool! It is only a joke, so you must laugh and enjoy it. For example, if someone says, ‘There’s a butterfly on your back!’ and you believe it, then they will laugh and call you A Big April Fool! So be prepared.”

Wouter went to school. “Look out!” someone shouted. “There’s a ball!”

Wouter ducked. There wasn’t a ball.

“You Big April Fool!” everyone shouted.

Wouter burst into tears. “You’re only allowed to say ‘There’s a butterfly on your back’,” he said.