2501. Alligator

Henry was aghast. A fully grown alligator was squeezed into his toilet bowl.

 How on earth did a fully grown alligator come up through the toilet pipes? You’d think that it wouldn’t be able to jam through.

 Henry told his wife. There’s a fully grown alligator curled up in the toilet.

 Oh for goodness sake! declared Savanah his wife. When will you never learn? How come I got married to someone so stupid? Of course it couldn’t fit through the toilet pipe. Use your brains. It would have come in under the door.

2284. Grumpy Crotch

The doorman’s real name was Paddy, but everyone knew him as Grumpy Crotch; Grumpy because he was grumpy and Crotch because he walked as if he had sand in his pants. Somehow the nickname made sense. His job was to welcome tourists to the town’s popular aquarium.

There was never a “Welcome” from his lips. Instead it would be a gruff “Don’t tap on the glass” or “Don’t throw food to the alligators”. One day he caught some kids tapping on the glass of an aquarium to try to get the plecostomus to move. He told them off in no uncertain terms so they pushed him over the railing into the alligator enclosure.  This was despite his warning not to throw food to the alligators.

Some people just don’t listen.

1398. Noah Triplebottom’s pet alligator

There could be little doubt that Noah Triplebottom was eccentric. For example, he had a pet alligator.

Notice the past tense.