Tag Archives: allergy

1545. Wheat allergy

Rosemary felt ill most of the time.

Eventually she got a doctor who knew what she was talking about. After tests, the doctor pronounced that Rosemary had a wheat allergy.

“Avoid bread and other food made from wheat,” said the doctor.

“But doctor,” said Rosemary, “my husband bakes bread every day. He always has. He’s so proud of his bread-making skills. And he does make lovely bread. That’s how we met.”

Rosemary went home. She never told her husband.

Rosemary felt ill most of the time.

1461. Sinus problem

Lavinia seemed forever to have a cold. Her nose was endlessly running. She’d use a box of tissues, or half a box at least, every day. She went to see a specialist.

The specialist suggested to Lavinia that she had an allergy. Did she have a cat? A dog? A pet cockatoo? Perhaps she should stop eating bread for a while and see what happens. Perhaps she was allergic to milk, or chocolate, or nuts. After tests, none of these were shown to be the cause of Lavinia’s runny nose.

The specialist did further tests. At last the allergy was discovered! Lavinia was allergic to dust created from dried cockroach poop. To be honest, Lavinia’s house was constantly invaded by cockroaches. Lavinia paid to have her home completely debugged and cleaned. It didn’t work. Lavinia still had a constant cold.

No one had noticed the cockroach that had crawled up and lodged itself deep in Lavinia’s sinuses.

1072. Lilies and cats

Kenneth had an allergy to pollen. He was especially plagued by pollen from lilies. Of course, Eunice, his wife, absolutely loved lilies. She would fill the vases with lilies every Easter, and poor Kenneth was left sneezing, wheezing, and weeping throughout the entire Paschal Season.

“It’s not Easter without lilies,” declared Eunice.

“It not Easter without hay fever,” said Kenneth.

Kenneth would get a pair of scissors and cut the pollen-laden stamens off. By the time he’d finished he was a blubbering, weeping mess. It was the same every year.

“You’ve ruined the lilies,” said Eunice. “Now I’ll have to get more.”

What a providential day it was when Eunice came home from the doctor’s and announced the discovery that she was allergic to cat fur.

“Thank goodness we don’t have a cat,” laughed Eunice.

Kenneth smiled.