Tag Archives: age

1686. A rose in name

What a delightful person Rose was. She would brighten any room; any company. Her laughter tinkled like crystal bells that caught and reflected sunlight. Her smile was wonderful but her lips merely reflected the gaiety in her eyes. Her hair hung down in natural ringlets. No need to flat wrap her hair with a curling iron; Nature did it for her.

People said it was all in the name; Rose in name, Rose in nature.

All that was years ago. These days she has thin lips and a slightly pointy nose. Her laughter is like the cackling of a witch. As Ms Angelina Bright from down the road declared, “Her straight grey hair is best covered by a pointy hat.”

People said it was all in the name; Rose in name, prickly in nature.

1509: Hector’s fastidious plan

Hector had always been fastidious. There was not an ounce of spontaneity in his genes (nor in his jeans for that matter). When he was approaching his sixtieth birthday he made a list of the names of his parents, grandparents, uncles, and aunts. Next to each name he wrote their exact age when they died.

Aunt Peggy, for example, died when she was sixty-one years and eleven days. Uncle Sylvester died aged seventy-two and ninety-six days. His maternal grandmother died aged eighty-three and two hundred and seventeen days. He would mark off each person when he passed their age. He would beat them all! He would draw a great big happy face next to each name the day he passed their death age! Ha! Ha! Ha! A happy face to celebrate!

Hector pinned his plan to the back of his kitchen door.

That was one hundred and twenty-four years ago. Not a single happy face was ever added to the list.

1376. Big jump

Florrie was not one to sit back and let life stop because she was getting older. For her seventy-fifth birthday she had organised a parachute jump. She would be strapped to a hopefully handsome muscular young man and they would jump out of the plane. He would guide her safely to the ground.

Well, the truth was, upon arrival at the venue Florrie discovered that the young man wasn’t as muscular and strapping as she’d hoped. That didn’t greatly matter of course; she was in it for the big jump.

And jump they did! Happy seventy-fifth, Florrie! It was most unfortunate that the parachute didn’t open.

1355. Noreen’s secret

Noreen was eighty-seven. She had always jokingly told her daughter that once she started to wet the bed, she should be put into geriatric care. Well, she wet the bed.

It was starting to become a regular occurrence.

“When are you coming to stay for a few days with us and the grandkids like you always used to?” asked Noreen’s daughter.

“I’m just getting a bit too old for it,” said Noreen. “And I find that grandchildren these days can get too boisterous.”

“Is everything okay?” asked Noreen’s daughter.

“Everything’s fine. Of course it is,” said Noreen.

Several months later Noreen died; in fact a week after her eighty-eighth birthday. Noreen’s children descended upon her house to clean it up. Noreen’s secret was out.

Poem 77: Now that summer’s over

Now that summer’s over
I’m a season older, and find
each summer season mines
less memories. It’s kind of sad
to think of times we had.
The heat-strewn days were glad when we
were children; so carefree,
chasing bees, climbing trees – the days
all melded in a haze
of ever-sunshine glaze. And yet…

It’s easy to forget
age casts far wider nets to catch
a varied vaster batch
of joys than those dispatched to girls
and boys. For in life’s twirl
of memory there swirls wise dreams
far deeper, so it seems,
than younger days we deem as fine.
Here, in my autumn time,
(I thank this God of mine) there calls
no need to live it all again.

 

(Based on the Vietnamese luc bat poetic form. For those who don’t know, I usually challenge myself with a weekly poem using a set poetic form each month).

Poem 61: It just seems that way

Swaying grass in wind
teaches me to dance in one spot.
It makes the hillside waltz
but really not.
It just seems that way.

Rise and fall of waves
teaches me to dance in one spot.
It makes the ocean tango
but really not.
It just seems that way.

Alone, I sit glued to one spot,
cornered in this old folks’ home.
He’s long past it, so they say.
He dribbles in his chair.
He wheezes in his air.
His mind’s not very clear.
His bank account is bare.
Mostly he can’t hear.
He won’t see out the year.
His end must soon be near.
There’s a bloody waiting list as long as your arm for here.

And yet

Swaying grass in wind
teaches me to dance in one spot.
It makes the hillside waltz
but really not.
It just seems that way.

 

1210. Waiting for midnight

 

Years ago, when he was just a teen, Vivian thought that 67 was a reasonably old age. He was born on the 1st of January 1950. That meant that the final digit of his age was the same as the year’s final digit; 1959 he was 9, 1969 he was 19, and so on. The year was 2017, and Vivian was 67.

Now that he’d reached the age of 67, Vivian didn’t think that was old at all. He’d always presumed, for no reason, that he’d die aged 67. And now it was a quarter to midnight on the last day of 2017.

What a relief it will be when midnight comes, thought Vivian. It was now ten minutes to midnight.

Vivian was feeling stressed. He tried not to look at the clock. He played a computer game to takes his mind off things. He had sweaty palms.

It was now five minutes to midnight. He turned the television on to watch… anything.

His wife had to turn the TV off in the morning.

1160. No nonsense

There could be no doubt that Nurse Frieda was efficient. People suspected she was soft as butter underneath, but no one ever saw it. And since when was butter soft, especially if it was cold?

Nurse Frieda was ideal for the old peoples’ hospital. A command was a command. “Get in the shower” meant “Get in the shower”. “Eat your vegetables” meant “Eat your vegetables”.

How exciting it was that Marlene was about to turn 100! “A hundred is a hundred” said Nurse Frieda, and indeed it was, although one couldn’t help but get a little excited. After all, Marlene was expecting a congratulatory telegram from the monarch of England, and there would be a cake and candles, and perhaps even a little sip of wine.

Marlene was born at quarter past six in the morning of October 20th. At midnight, Marlene declared that she had reached 100! Her birthday had arrived!

Unfortunately Marlene died suddenly at a quarter to five. “Strictly speaking she never reached 100,” declared Nurse Frieda. She took the congratulatory telegram and screwed it up. She took the candles off the cake. “She certainly didn’t reach 100. Goodness me! Let’s be clear about that.”

It’s always good to have someone in an old peoples’ hospital who accepts no nonsense.

1086. Justice is served

It wasn’t just depressing; it was downright infuriating. Nick had been stopped for speeding, and THE COP WAS YOUNGER THAN HE WAS.

You know you’re getting old when the cop who stops you for speeding is younger than you are. There was a time when Nick was always younger than the cop. He would always say, sorry officer, it must be youthful enthusiasm; I won’t do it again. The old cop would let him off with a warning. But now THE COP WAS YOUNGER THAN HE WAS. These days he was never let off with a warning.

Nick took the cop to court. Nick was a top class lawyer. He knew the law and how to manipulate it. He made sure that the upstart wasn’t going to be stopping him again. The cop’s looking for another job if you’ve got a vacancy.