2505. Afterlife

Claudéric had a funny feeling that he’d died and yet everything was the same. He mentioned it to Marion his wife, and she said it was a funny thing but she felt the same way.

“Surely we can’t both be dead and still living in the same house in the same way,” she said.

“Well,” said Claudéric, “I mow the lawn and weed the garden every week without fail. You do many of the same household tasks such as cooking and laundry. And yet it seems exceedingly strange but I get a very clear feeling that we’re both dead, and have been so for several months.”

“Surely it can’t be true,” said Marion. “We would know one way or another if we had died. Either we would have ceased to exist and wouldn’t know anything at all, or we would be in heaven. And since we’re unaware of either condition I can only conclude that we haven’t died after all.”

“Let’s get on with life then. What a silly and unrealistic thing this has been,” said Claudéric. “Dead indeed! Goodness me!”

There was a knock at the door. “Anyone home?” shouted the policeman. “The neighbours have complained that the place is unkempt and the lawns haven’t been mowed for several months.”

2176. Whizzing along

Neil was whizzing along the highway in his little blue car when suddenly a bit fell off. He wasn’t sure what bit it was but couldn’t stop because there was traffic everywhere and they were moving along as if in convoy at a reasonable rate.

Anyway, the car seemed to be going well, and then the outside mirrors on both sides fell off. Before he could think, the hood (bonnet) had blown off and then the trunk (boot). Next he saw a wheel race along the road ahead of him, and then another.

It didn’t take long before he was whizzing along clinging to nothing but the steering wheel.  Next thing, wouldn’t you know it, even the steering wheel zoomed off into nowhere.

It was then Neil realized what had happened. A few miles back on the road he was in a car accident. He was dead. Now he was whizzing along in another dimension altogether.

Music 356-361: Six Dances from the Afterlife

Hi Everyone

Here are some dances for the piano called Six Dances from the Afterlife in honour of Halloween! (The computer is playing them as my mic is broken – so even though the electronic piano sounds a bit tinny it’s probably better than my piano playing these days!)

I had set out inspired by Bach’s various suites, but by the time there was a sort of Allemande, Courante, Sarabande and Minuet completed, the Air and Gig got thrown out the window in favour of a kind of Two-step for Two and one called Kick Off Your Shoes.

Click on a title in the first list to listen to the music, and click on a title in the second list to download the written music.

Thanks

Click on a title to listen:

• 1. Allemande
• 2. Courante
• 3. Sarabande
• 4. Two Step for Two
• 5. Minuet in Boots
• 6. Kick Off Your Shoes

Click on a title to download the written music:

• 1. Allemande
• 2. Courante
• 3. Sarabande
• 4. Two Step for Two
• 5. Minuet in Boots
• 6. Kick Off Your Shoes

1676. Requiring an element of purgation

The angel informed Eddie that he was dead. “You kicked the bucket,” said the angel. “You died in your sleep.”

“You’re pulling my leg,” said Eddie. “I’m just having a dream.”

“I think not,” said the angel. “Try getting out of bed.” Eddie couldn’t move. He was stuck lying on his back. He couldn’t even wiggle his toes.

“I’ve come to get you and take you to a wondrous place,” said the angel.

“You’re talking through a whole in your head,” said Eddie. “I’m just having a bad dream. Stop annoying me. I’m going nowhere. Piss off. I’m trying to sleep.”

“Very well,” said the angel, and left.

That was two hundred years ago.