It was a shocking murder. The coroner said he’d never seen such shocking mutilation of a murder victim. It was a wonder that any bodily part was recognizable. In fact the coroner had pieced together parts of the body and when he’d finished reassembling he realized that he’d mistakenly misplaced a finger where the nose should go.
Of course they hadn’t arrested the murderer. There were no hints. No DNA. Little clue. No motive. The only small clue they had was the discovery that she had initially been beaten over the head with a television remote.
In the end the coroner’s report gave some hint. It is possible, said the report, that my wife wouldn’t shut up during the football on television.
Weave a Web 
Sounds like the husband helped her cross the finish line with that remote.
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There’s not a great difference between a tv remote and a cattle prodder. (Do you have cattle prodders in the States? It’s a battery driven shock that prods the cattle to go in the right direction).
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Oh yes, we have cattle prods! Never been prodded though.
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We used to have one to get my oldest brother out of bed for the early morning milking!
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Lesson learned…she won’t be yapping again during your football!
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If she hadn’t died she would be told that the silence also applies to baseball, basketball, hockey, and pickleball.
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Must lay the law down…that is sacred time.
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Everything can be forgiven. Except when your team lets in an own goal with time up on the clock and the sweet love of your life looks up and laughs at the irony. Now, I’m a peaceable man with a fine blend of Quakers and Zen thoughts coursing easily and gently ing through me, but… Honest, Officer, I don’t know how I found myself with the five iron in my hand. Honest. I shoulda used a heavy wood…
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The Officer should blow the whistle on such nonsense.
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Fair.
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It’s just one of those hazards inherent in the profession. Having said that, it’s high time for TV remotes to go virtual.
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Yes – I agree – why can’t the Chinese Government decide what I want to watch?
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Wel, I’m sure he gave her fair warning.
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Gotta channel the anger somehow.
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Would you like a delectable another can of beer?
Shut up. I’m trying to watch the football.
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Let’s hope that his team won!
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