2675. Body bumps

And so Miss Seychelles, you are one of two remaining contestants in the race to become Miss World. If you won what would you do?

I would bring about world peace. I would do away with orphanages and find homes for everyone. I would neutralize the entire world’s nuclear weaponry. I would encourage young people to follow their fortune cookies. I would promote responsibility when it comes to caring for our planet, and do away with cows, sheep, goats, gas stoves, and every other living creature that breaks wind. I would clear the streets of poor people and help them overcome their addictions by giving them their drugs of choice. I would insist that everyone wear a mask.  I would do away with the police force, and close prisons so that we could all live together as one family. I would abandon all notions of borders between countries. Why can we not live in peace? I would make abortion free, if not compulsory, for all Black people. I would…

Thank you. That’s lovely Miss Seychelles. I do hope you win, although most of what you have said has already been achieved. And what for you has been the most exciting part of the Miss World Event?

For me the most exciting part has been acceptance from my fellow competitors. I purposely transferred my gender to female for the occasion. And it’s wonderful to see that the two remaining finalists are both transgender. I’ll give you an example of how accepting people have been. I was permitted to wear men’s speedos instead of a bikini bottom because we should always leave all options open; so I never went through with the operation. I know it looks a bit silly in speedos with a bikini top but people get used to it. I always tell them that they’re just body bumps. Get over it.

Thank you, Miss Seychelles. You are history in the making.

15 thoughts on “2675. Body bumps

  1. noelleg44

    I have no doubt this is what the world is coming to, both physically and mentally. I see that a man of 45, who is now a female, began cycling five years ago and is now winning all the women’s elite races. One top woman cycler has already q

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Badfinger (Max)

    My favorite line was ” I would encourage young people to follow their fortune cookies”…
    Love this one Bruce…but it’s sad because it’s so damn true.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ordinary Person

    The first paragraph sounded a lot like what a certain prime minister said. You’re sure the name of this contestant is Miss Seychelles and not a certain Mis JA? The cow farting thing made the news here too. Crazy world we live in.

    Liked by 1 person


Please feel free to spout, tout, flout, sprout, pout, or simply say something sensible

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s