When Witch Woke caught Hansel and Gretel pinching bits of confectionary off her candy house she grabbed hold of them and dragged them kicking and screaming inside.
Tying them down at the kitchen table she proceeded to tell them that Santa Claus wasn’t true, and the Tooth Fairy wasn’t true, and the Stork didn’t bring babies, and there were never Three Little Pigs, and the Big Bad Wolf and Little Red Riding Hood was about rape, and so on and so forth. She spelt out that their propensity to nick candy off her house was a direct result of the misinformation that had been thrust down their throats throughout their innocent lives. Lies breed venality and sleaze.
When she had ended correcting all the falsehoods they had been fed, as the story itself should have gone, she ate them for dinner.
Weave a Web 
You forgot that she also chastised them for eating sugar and not making healthier choices. Witch Woke hates fatty meat.
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That’s partially true. Getting fat was one of the reasons the witch didn’t like the kids breaking off bits of her confectionary spouting.
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And that, as they say, was that!
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As long as she said grace before eating them then things would be ok.
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Brilliant, Bruce. Loving the satire here.
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Thank you – again – Chris!
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That witch burns me up.
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Noting that a lizard tongue with a squeeze of weta won’t fix.
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Noreading between the lines today… You went right for the throat! I think you meant Witch Kamala
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I was thinking more of Robinette!
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That will work as well!
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Then she shouldn’t have wasted her time telling them everything they knew was false and just should have eaten them! I assume she was hungry!
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Bad witches are notoriously hungry – at least that’s my experience. I knew one once who gobbled up her broom in desperation.
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Healthy lifestyle choices are so important.
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One can only hope that Hansel and Gretel were organically grown.
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Absolutely. I stay away from the gross ones with pesticides myself.
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It’s a shame the witch didn’t shoot for more diversity in her diet. It’s a shocking and unacceptable display of implicit bias and I demand her immediate apology and resignation.
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This reminded me of this extract of Peterson’s speech below:
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The conclusion is a solace in that the children purged of falsehoods weren’t allowed to escape and spread the sordid realities in the community.
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