The Police Officer knocked on Mason’s door.
Come in, Officer. Come in. Take a seat. To be honest, today has been the loneliest day of my life. My wife left me – permanently she said – around 9.30 this morning. Walked out. Just like that. As far as I can ascertain she didn’t even take a change of clothes. A car – I don’t have a clue whose it was – pulled up at the curb. Iris got in and the car drove off. That is all I know.
After she had gone I didn’t know what to do. I hadn’t had breakfast so I had breakfast. Of course I didn’t eat much as I wasn’t hungry, but they say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so I had a couple of pieces of toast with marmalade. Actually only one had marmalade. I had honey on the second one.
I then walked down the street with her bankcard. She didn’t take it, but I wanted to check if she had used it and maybe we could find out where she had gone to. When I checked on the card all the money had been taken out. Not a dime left. Obviously she had planned to leave me. I knew the bank teller, and she told me that the money had been taken out yesterday.
Yes, Officer. I’d be happy for you to make a report for a missing person, although she left freely and I suppose it is a bit of a misnomer to call her missing. A walked-out walked-off report would be better, if you make such a thing.
Thank you for coming around Officer. May I see you to the door?
The Officer left. Thank goodness he didn’t think to look under the bed.
You can tell he’s guilty of getting rid of her. Waaay too many details, a dead giveaway. 🙂
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That’s excellent advice. I shall need to shorten my stories!!
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The officer must have been a rookie, of course.
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I had to look up what a rookie is! As George Bernard Shaw said – We are separated by a common language.
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lol. Sorry. I didn’t expect that.
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The dramatic monologue introduces us to a very dumb police officer.
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There are dumb people in every walk of life!
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Wow Bruce…”rookie” isn’t a common word there? I thought that would be universal…anyway I agree with Herb…a rookie!
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U don’t think the word is generally used here, but I’ve heard it often enough on US sitcoms etc. And your sports are not played here nor generally watched. Here it’s rugby and cricket and field hockey and netball and soccer. Rugby, cricket, and women’s netball are probably the big ones. (And curling during the Winter Olympics!)
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We also use it in any field where someone is new. Speaking of tv shows there was a show about new policemen called Rookies.
I want to see Cricket because from what I’ve learned it is close in some ways to baseball
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Yes, well, we don’t all keep our bank cards under the bed. Cut the officer some slack, Bruce.
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I was hoping you might reveal where you keep your bank cards if not under the bed.
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I hate to say that mine are simply in my wallet.
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“Mine are…” in my case it’s “Mine is…”!!
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A trail of misdirection – clever. With the money he needs to buy a quality mincer and some seasoning and make lots of pastry.
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Eat your heart out!
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🙂
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Toast with marmalade is a pretty decent breakfast.
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Unfortunately marmalade made with grapefruit is a no-no for those who take heart medication (it counteracts the effect of the pills) so I make marmalade out of lemons. But quite my favorite breakfast topping;.
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I don’t know that I’ve ever had marmalade made out of anything but Orange.
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I only knew grapefruit marmalade!
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Interesting.
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