2522. Smarty Pants

Dear Parents and Caregivers

What a successful fundraising event our Gala Day was! We raised over three thousand dollars for gymnasium equipment.

I wish to announce the winner of the “Guess-the-number-of-Smarties-in-the-Jar” (aka “Guess-the-number-of-M&Ms-in-the-Jar”) competition. As you probably know the prize for the right guess is twenty-five dollars. It was a very popular fund-raiser and over five hundred (mainly children) entered the guessing game. There were very few entries sharing the same number.

I am told the official number was 1,561 Smarties in the jar. What nonsense! That was perhaps the case with the old mathematics. In these more enlightened times every child is correct. All numbers are right depending upon how mathematics is done. Nor should we be keen to put a child down. It would be humiliating. All entries are winners.

I have instructed the organizers to give each entry twenty-five dollars. The accountant says that would come to over twelve and a half thousand dollars which is more than the money raised. Again, what nonsense! That may have been the case under the old mathematics but these days we are more liberated. With the new mathematics there is something for each winner and enough left over to purchase a good amount of gymnasium equipment.

On a lighter note, not knowing what to do with the jar of Smarties, my wife and I decided to enjoy them ourselves – all 1,561 of them.

Leonardo Goldsworthy


23 thoughts on “2522. Smarty Pants

  1. Badfinger (Max)

    Everyone is a winner! Then they grow up and are shocked.
    Bailey my son…once got a certificate when he was two… because during an Easter Egg hunt he found less eggs than anyone else…that was the certificate…”the least eggs found”… I told them…you have to be kidding.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      That’s hilarious Max. When I was a 3rd form (13 year-olds) form teacher (that’s the teacher attached to a specific class) – (you people use different terms than us so I have to explain!) – the school used to say “Everyone is a winner” – I used to tell the class “If you get second you’re not the winner”. That particular year my class won EVERYTHING! There were parents and students trying to get into my class!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Badfinger (Max)

        I’m glad you explained becasue my first thought was 3rd grade which would be 9-10 year olds here.
        Well you REALLY were winners! Over here baseball teams would get a participation trophy… I told them the same thing you did.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. chrisnelson61

    Ah, yes, the concept that we are all ‘winners’ which, of course, prepares our children so well for real life. Not a philosophy that I held personally during my years at the chalkface (then again I still used to have teams of girls against boys for quizzes and the like, not girls v boys v they v undecided v gay v ……). Call me old-fashioned!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: 2522. Smarty Pants – start earning money

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