Charlene was bitterly disappointed. She had spent months researching poisons. She had gone to the library. She had scanned the internet. She even asked a professional autopsy expert what the best way was to poison a man. The professional autopsy expert was at first reluctant to impart knowledge, but in the end Charlene seemed a nice enough and pretty harmless person. She was given a list of almost impossible to detect fatal poisons that could be used.
Charlene’s husband was no help. He was an ignorant, lazy spouse. Charlene never asked him anything, and in this scenario she simply smiled despairingly. She wasn’t going to waste time with his witlessness.
In the end she narrowed it down to two poisons. To be doubly sure Charlene made an appointment to see an industrial chemist at the local woollen factory. These industrial professionals are experts at all sorts of things, and their experience in practical chemistry seems to extend their ability to explain things simply. “Which of these two poisons will be most effective and lest detectable?”
The industrial chemist was very nice. He pointed out, however, that neither of the poisons would result in death. He said that one of them if used would require the imbibing of several large containers of liquid and the other would need the equivalent of having to eat seventeen to twenty indigestible potatoes in twenty-four hours.
It was indeed a disappointment – and after all those hours and hours of research.
Charlene had had enough. She went home and threw her uncompleted novel in the trash.
The research these authors do! Reminds me of a writer called Umberto Eco who I think plotted the time when certain sequences in his novel should occur. I guess Charlene can’t escape her lazy, witless husband even in her writing.
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The Name of the Rose – although I haven’t read it!
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Yes. I’ve read it. It’s a great novel. One of the best novels I’ve read. I have a feeling you’ll enjoy it.
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You had me sucked in and then surprised me. Well done.
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You have become so immune to these stories that I’m delighted to have surprised you Yvonne!
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You got me on this one… but maybe her plan was twofold.
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Murderers can learn decent hints from novels.
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Yes they can Bruce…and from blogs!
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Wow. Okay. You got me, fair and square.
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Ha! It was a bit of a dirty trick Herb!
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😂
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This is very funny! დ
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Thanks Cindy. Glad to have cheered your day!
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In someway I’m disappointed that there was no murder. Perhaps she should engage in relationships in order to test different poisons out.
Just a thought!
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Unrestrained Imagination is key to writing fiction, especially the elongated kind. As Hemingway rightly put it, All stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true-story teller who would keep that from you. So, all Charlene had to do was continue writing to eventually kill her husband or the character in the book or both.
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Death is relatively conclusive.
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Somebody had already published on this subject, obviously. Now I would say an injection of potassium might work the best – stops the heart and is not detectable (it gets diluted out). Her husband seems like a prime candidate.
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Yjey say bananas are high in potassium. Perhaps lots of banana desserts as a preparation!
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I don’t think so, unless you mainline them!
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I think I might enjoy a story in which someone had to eat seventeen to twenty indigestible potatoes. I have found that if you preface any question with, “I’m writing a book,” people will tell you anything.
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Have you started another book yet? Because if you have know that the moon is made of cheese.
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That is good to know! Expect your name in acknowledgements.
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Phew, nobody died!
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I should’ve have made a greater effort.
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😂
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