2459.  Backward imbecilic aliens

Well you’d think that the space aliens from Schimintallic would be a little less arrogant. They’ve had several million years longer than us humans to evolve, and you’d hope the Schimintallics could have evolved a bit of humility. Not so. They are a planetful of scumbags.

They seem to have got stuck in the evolutionary process around about where we were when we were cavemen. I’ll give you an example.

When we sent scientists to their planet to investigate, the scientists were able to capture a number of Schimintallics for scientific experimentation. Honestly, it was no more than if we did a laboratory dissection on a few rats, or a guinea pig if you don’t like rats. But the Schimintallics didn’t like it. Apparently we had culled a few crucial creatures in their society. We told them to “get over it”. How else can we learn if we don’t explore? There’s no good pretending; over the millennia they simply haven’t chalked up intelligence to rival our own.

Anyway, they’re taking us to the Interplanetary Rights Committee. We’ve got a good case. It’s no different from some duchess or other coming out of the royal palace and tossing a baby over the balcony into the crowd. It’s between her and her doctor – or in this case between us and the lab technician.

They’re calling it murder. Honestly, they can change the names of things as much as they like. A caveman is a caveman no matter what you call it. Of far greater interest to us Earthlings are the endangered Pinknosed Scallywaggle Bumblebees on their planet. One of our scientists accidentally stepped on one and it was pretty devastating. He’s been suspended of course, which is a pity because he was one of our leading necropsy investigators. He was the one who discovered that Schimintallics have an organ that detects dark matter. Backward imbeciles! What next?

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18 thoughts on “2459.  Backward imbecilic aliens

    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      Many alien “species” inhabit the reality of dark matter and dark energy, and only a few of these “species” have stepped beyond their reality to discover the existence of our realms of material reality. There are, of course, dozens – if not thousands – of other forms of “stuff” in the universe completely unknown to us. All these “dimensions” have seeded intelligent life but we are oblivious to it – except for the occasional unfocused photo of a UFO that’s trying to transport itself (usually unsuccessfully) into our dimension – out of curiosity.

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