2351. An alien attempt

Let me make it quite clear: I don’t believe in outer-space aliens, I have never believed in aliens, and I will never believe in aliens. They are a fiction and not an overly interesting one. Which is why it was a bit strange, given my antipathy towards fictional extra-terrestrials, that I got a handwritten note in my mailbox lamenting that this blog hadn’t had a story in it for quite a while involving outer-space aliens. It was signed “Alien from Out There”.

To be honest, I saw red. If a friend (or acquaintance) wanted science fiction they were welcome to tell me to my face. I scribbled a reply at the bottom of the note that read “If you’re so keen on science fiction why don’t you write one yourself.”

The next day there was a story in my mailbox. Here it is. It hasn’t changed my scepticism about aliens one bit.

Uxun tykugy Htccy ycu cuun tklu cll yur lygu tyct hyu wch cukptuu hyu huhpuctuu yn gcct tyct yur mktyur wch yur rucl mktyur cnu yur gctyur wch yur rucl gctyur. Htccy wch numcur hyx yn c gcmyly kg hyx cyylurun. Yn gcct, gkur kg yur crktyurh cnu hyhturh wuru yur rucl crktyurh cnu hyhturh, cnu uxun tykugy hyu wch tun yucrh ykungur tycn tyuy wuru tyuru wch nktyyng unuhucl yn tyct. Knu kg yur crktyurh, tyu gygty hyclyng, ycu tyu hcmu mktyur wut tyu gctyur wch uyggurunt; “Hwuuyhy” tyu UNC tuhth wuru tk ruxucl.

Tk prkxu yur pkynt, Htccy ycu ycu hucrut UNC tuhth uknu kg tyu gcmyly cnu tyu ruhulth prkxuu yur pkynt: yur mktyur wch yur rucl mktyur cnu yur gctyur wch yur rucl gctyur. Hk wyy tyu cukptykn htkry?

I had to read the story twice. Have they never heard of proper punctuation? Ignorant idiots. And what a stupid story. Huh? Just because some of us have green blood doesn’t mean to say that… whatever.

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