2324. There is skulduggery afoot

Max had just finished posting something on his blog when the phone rang. It was his landline. No one ever uses a landline these days, but Max had it just in case (as will one day inevitably happen) the Chinese blow the cell phone satellite and the earthbound transmitters to buggery. At least he’ll still be able to order pizza.

Who was on the phone? “Hello,” said Max. “Hello? Hello?”

There was no one on the other end. Sweet Fanny Adams.

Max reached for his wife’s handbag and took out her vintage M2 heavy machine gun. Aiming it at the landline telephonic communication instrument, Max pulled the trigger (with his bad finger) and blasted the phone to smithereens.

“I knew there was skulduggery afoot,” said Max. “No sooner had I realized that there was no one on the other end of the phone call than I realized there was indeed someone on the other end; listening. Listening to everything that was going on. It was the Chinese. And that’s why I shot it into oblivion with my wife’s vintage M2 heavy machine gun. I have rid myself of the Chinese spying on my IT work permanently.”

President Chi rubbed his hands in glee. Blowing up landlines was exactly what he wanted. They were harder to contol.

這正是醫生吩咐的, he said.

28 thoughts on “2324. There is skulduggery afoot

  1. badfinger20 (Max)

    I can’t win for losing… But that is alright…it did feel good to blow that phone into smithereens!
    My life is complete…I made it now…immortalized in a Bruce Goodman story…Sweet Fanny Adams!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. umashankar

    The first thing that my brain begs to understand is how could an M2 machine gun fit into his wife’s handbag! On second thoughts though and after being enlightened by Google, Zhè zhèng shì yīshēng fēnfù de, Chinese may do better by sending the Wuhan Virus back in Time to infect a certain Alexander Graham Bell —it will save an awful lot of time and resources.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      Your flight of fantasy eclipses my hiding a M2 machine gun in a handbag! I can only concur with your thought that the Wuhan Fluan would better serve humankind by going back in time to AG Bell.



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