2324. There is skulduggery afoot

Max had just finished posting something on his blog when the phone rang. It was his landline. No one ever uses a landline these days, but Max had it just in case (as will one day inevitably happen) the Chinese blow the cell phone satellite and the earthbound transmitters to buggery. At least he’ll still be able to order pizza.

Who was on the phone? “Hello,” said Max. “Hello? Hello?”

There was no one on the other end. Sweet Fanny Adams.

Max reached for his wife’s handbag and took out her vintage M2 heavy machine gun. Aiming it at the landline telephonic communication instrument, Max pulled the trigger (with his bad finger) and blasted the phone to smithereens.

“I knew there was skulduggery afoot,” said Max. “No sooner had I realized that there was no one on the other end of the phone call than I realized there was indeed someone on the other end; listening. Listening to everything that was going on. It was the Chinese. And that’s why I shot it into oblivion with my wife’s vintage M2 heavy machine gun. I have rid myself of the Chinese spying on my IT work permanently.”

President Chi rubbed his hands in glee. Blowing up landlines was exactly what he wanted. They were harder to contol.

這正是醫生吩咐的, he said.