Some of the parents with more liberated ideas were furious with their children’s school policy. Halloween and Thanksgiving were fast approaching and the school had organized a Pumpkin Festival. In reality it was a pumpkin competition; whoever grew the biggest pumpkin would win a pair of rather expensive snow boots.
“That’s right,” swore parent Kim Buckwell, “fill the children with an ugly competitive spirit.”
There were two pairs of snow boots awaiting the competition; both suitable for either a girl or a boy. In the interest of equity the school decided one pair should go to the girl who grew the biggest pumpkin and one to the boy who grew the biggest pumpkin.
Now Joseph had seen Nigel’s pumpkin. It was huge. There was no beating it. Joseph’s pumpkin was big but not as big as Nigel’s. Joseph’s parents concurred with his decision; he would call himself Josephine, tie the hair into a ponytail, and change a pronoun or two. Having done that he entered his hefty pumpkin into the girls’ section of the competition.
The girls were horrified. Maizie declared that her pumpkin was big but nowhere near as big as Josephine’s. “I would win the snow boots if that horrid boy hadn’t turned into a girl,” said Maizie.
The judges agreed with Maizie. Nigel won the boys’ section and Maizie won the girls’ section. Josephine was disqualified. It was grossly unfair.
“It was like a kick in the balls,” said Josephine.
What can I say…
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Ha! Thank you, Sylvie!
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This is what our world is coming to – if you can’t win as a male, just become a female!
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I would but I can’t think what to wear!
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I can loan you something!
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It reminds me of the trannies playing girl’s sports and dominating UTTERLY. It’s one of the amusing twists of the degenerate times we live in.
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Degenerate times indeed!
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For a moment I wondered whether Josephine’s unseemly balls would be extracted and blown to the size of the biggest pumpkin. But I concede the tamer end of the story doesn’t dent the pumpkin justice.
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Ha! Thank you Uma.
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Clever ending.
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Thank you!
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Awesome last line Bruce.
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Thanks Max. I actually used it in conversation and thought – Now there’s a story in there!
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Maizie should be ashamed of herself. Himself? Themselves? Itself? I’m not sure what pronouns Maizie prefers and I would never be so crass as to presume.
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I think zee are right.
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Maybe Josephine should grow bigger balls.
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What a hoot🤭 why haven’t you been cancelled yet, Bruce?
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Thank you! I was half hoping to get cancelled but get left out of things as usual.
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