The horrible witch pushed Hansel and Gretel into the refrigerator and the light went out when the door was shut. They had a terrible time trying to stay cool.
The witch was busy heating up the cooking range to roast Hansel and Gretel when the woodsman turned up and pushed the witch into the oven. He then went on his way.
Oven doors can be pushed open from the inside, so that is what the witch did and she stepped out back into the kitchen. Fridge doors are not like oven doors; they need the outside handle pulled to open the door. Hansel and Gretel pushed their shoulders to the door – WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! – and the refrigerator fell over on top of the witch and killed her.
Now the door of the fridge was face down on top of the witch’s corpse and there was no hope of escape. That was when the woodsman returned because he’d forgotten his axe. He saw the fridge on top of the dead witch and said “Good riddance to bad rubbish”. He pushed the fridge upright and in doing so accidentally opened the door.
Hansel and Gretel stepped out and the woodsman said “What the heck are you doing in there?” Everyone was very happy because the woodsman was Hansel and Gretel’s father.
He said to his kids, “Just leave your dead stepmother on the floor. Let’s go outside and eat some candy off a drain pipe.”
uh oh that is terrible…I wonder if their home insurance will pay for a new fridge?
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iT DEPEND ON HOW BIG THE FREEZER IS AND WHETHER OR NOT THE CUTS OF WITCH ALL FIT IN. (I’m not typing this again – the caps lock was on).
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You are a lazy one Bruce! AND you SHOUT
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WHAT?
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LOL
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It read like a malware attack on a millennium of fairy tales. At any rate, the story is not without a moral: it’s always better to get trapped in an oven rather than a fridge.
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If you were born in another place and time you’d make an admirable Puritan!
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Methinks the author doth protest too much!
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The rest is silence…
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Though stoleth my line that I pilfered from the Bard.
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Alas poor Uma!
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I will keep that in mind when I next encounter my step-kids.
(By the way, I am still puzzling over this sentence: ‘They had a terrible time trying to stay cool.’ Are you setting little traps for us, to see if we read and comprehend, or what?)
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Don’t worry; I just figured out what you did there. Clever man!
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The phrase comes from Chemical Safety papers: “In the event of ingestion keep cool”!
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Ha! No traps – but my readers are getting few and far between these days!
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Quality over quantity???? (Better say yes.)
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Yes
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It is possibly even more gratifying to pull your children out of a refrigerator than it is to pull out a turkey sandwich.
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Especially if the turkey was still alive.
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We had a bunch of Turkeys on the farm at one point or another, but the peacocks were far cooler.
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We had flocks of turkeys in Auckland (rural) and the occasion peacock. I ended up hatching turkeys using bantams but gave up because they shit everywhere!
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Turkey shit is a downside.
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Aww… And they all lived happily ever after.
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Happily ever after is the way it always goes…
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Just had to work in a wicked stepmother, didn’t you!
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So true to life this fiction business!
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That one almost had the ring of an original Grimm fairy tale, both gruesome and tragic.
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Thank you. However, there is a great difference between having Grimm as a surname instead of Goodman.
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