Some have difficulty knowing how to word a death notice in the newspaper, so here are a few suggestions to help:
- We are sad to announce that yesterday Olive Blanche passed from this life into the arms of Jesus.
- Olive Blanche departed the earth and rests in peace.
- The Grim Reaper came suddenly to Olive Blanche yesterday just after lunch.
- Olive Blanche croaked yesterday after a hideously long and painful death.
- Our Olive Blanche has at last kicked the bucket. Wear something bright for the funeral.
- Olive Blanche has been on her last legs for some time, with one foot in the grave. She’s brushed with death before but this time has popped her clogs permanently and is about to push up daisies.
- Yippee! Think of the money!
I liked the one about money.
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It possibly is the only true suggestion.
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What this list lacks in quantity it makes up for in quality.
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Thank you. I like to set a very high standard.
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It would depend a lot on how I felt about the person as to which option I went with hehe.
I have done two eulogies in my life at church. I didn’t hear the beloved turn in their coffins throughout, which was a relief.
I imagine you have done your fair share of funerals Bruce!
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Yes I have done a few funerals but wouldn’t know how many – including my father’s. I missed my mother’s funeral because I was overseas and her last words were that I wasn’t to waste money coming to NZ!
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I like how your Mother thought. I did my Dad’s too.
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Anyhow how are you doing Bruce? I read that NZ had a little teeny COVID surge and all hell is broken loose like in AUS regarding lockdowns and what have you. Modern day life seems ruled by COVID and lockdowns. Quite otherworldly.
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Yes – we’re all in lockdown. I think COVID might have taken a hold here. One of the 25 struck with it yesterday had just come home from a school dance with 500 others!
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Ouch. I don’t get the histeria to be honest and I live in one of the countries biggest hit by it. OK, it’s a newish Pandemic and killing people and anywhere on the scale of the Spanish Flu, but does everyone have to give up living their regular lives for this? And the untold lives affected by curtailing the economy operating as normal. It’s obscene how all individuals are being coalesced into being something out of a brave new world chapter.
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I agree. We haven’t been paid for work now for 18 months. They say “You’re not an essential service so we’ll pay you eventually.” Yeah right.
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i meant to say not any where near the scale of the Spanish flu. But I gathered you understood that…. Western society based on meritocracy and rule of law (and divinity of the individual axiom) is getting beat to a pulp and rather quickly much faster than the Roman empire fell.
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I reckon you’re right.
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Oh, goodie! And, we have loonies demonstrating about loss of personal freedom in Melbourne. I’m sure not one of them was harbouring the virus (sarcastic font needed.)
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I went shopping with a mask on – the first time I have done it – although I did wear a mask once when I was spraying the outside of the house to kill the spiders.
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The money one was nice but I have never heard the phrase, “Popped her clogs” before.
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To be truthful Herb, I hadn’t heard of it before I wrote the piece. I found it on a Search and so liked it that I threw it in even though I’d never heard of it before!
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Well, it certainly is an interesting turn of a phrase and was new to me.
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“I told you I was sick!”
Yippee! Think of the money!…that is my pick
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I like the money bit too Max – so maybe we’re both thick… er… sick.
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I saw a picture of a tombstone that actually had that…no photoshop tricks…it was real.
But yes Bruce we are both sick…and we take some pride in that. It takes all kinds.
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I’m relieved I’m not the only one to think so.
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Theend of life is an inevitability.Period.Fullstop.
That’s one for you right there.
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Taxes and death.
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It is a fine display of many robes the storyteller can wear. The third is the most dramatic announcement.
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I agree! The third one is sudden and fearful.
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The last suggestion is the best.
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It’s the one suggestion we always hope for! My rich rich uncle died and we were all excited – and he left the lot to the church!
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Well, I read it sarcastically as my experience has been similar.
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Olive Branche bought the farm and now it’s ours.
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The will should have farmed things out.
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